"For this town, make I see who dem born well. Me! Me wey police use helicopter find, I confuse them like handwriting lines...me."
Ade continued to hail himself. He was the de facto leader of Bariga Union Of Moto park Operators (BUMO) by virtue of him being an ex-president of the aforementioned Union. Over the years, his interests and powers have transcended borders that surprise even him. These days, nothing happens without his knowledge. The local police weren't motivated enough to want to end his reign of impunity and even if they were that motivated, none was willing to risk his life for the country's general enjoyment. They leave home every day with an eye on the future, the future where what you've saved legal or illegal will doubtlessly be your comforter in times of desertion. Ade was a sadist of a sort, I mean, how much of a name should be given to someone who delights in seeing people in pain? His arguments anytime solicited were that these guys were criminals that deserve nothing but death.
"How person go keep his thing inside house and you, because you're a thief, have the guhs to enterram, hand carry what is not your own?" He always asks in his heavily accented English albeit rhetorically. Ade or OgaTenTen as he is referred to by admirers never runs out of equipment when it comes to sending thieves and criminals to the great beyond. Things like tyres, of assorted quality and shapes are always in stock.
After his reign as the President of BUMO, OgaTenTen busied himself with his businesses, a thriving "kongolemerate" as he calls it. He doubles as the head of Danja Central Market (DCM), the largest market in suburban Manowonsho. His businesses did well; a testament to his cunning knack of spotting "disadvantaged advantages" when others made themselves comfortable with the advantages. The insanity that permeated the atmosphere of the market was drastically empowered by the commando-style response initiated by OgaTenTen in cases of insanity. He completed the sequence of success by marrying the daughter of Dr Kpamilerin Ikunisuru, the senator representing Manowonsho Federal Constituency at the Federal House of Senate (FHOS). It was blessed 3girls and a boy who was christened "Adetunde".
Mr John Cassidy was your normal approachable man on the outside. The enormous wealth he has gathered didn't disrupt his sense of humanity, a sense of appending honour to a person not necessitated by the amount he has in his pockets but by the mere fact of him being human. A typical Manowonsho elite, he cared less about issues that have to do with the everyday happenings in the state, at least politically. His concern was more on his profits and business interests, both of which he guards religiously. His daughter Mary, a girl of immaculate beauty with brains for hundreds gave meaning to his life after the death of his wife. Now, all the love and affection of Mr John was Mary's to have and hers only. Mary had a brother who "left me to myself in this cruel world" as she'll say. She spent time, most times, going through his personal effects, a confused mixture of smile and tears fighting for territorial relevance on her face. The thought of the way he died kills her. It was a Tuesday afternoon after lunch, she insisted on having a stroll with her brother. He reluctantly agreed because he didn't want to offend her. They left home. She was all hyped up and chirpy. He was a bit reticent. Then out of the blues, a haggard-looking creature bolted out of the corner they were headed. The strength, speed and expertise expended by it made it look somewhat confusing and alarmingly frightening. Amazingly, he wore the same type of shirt as her brother's, so much for coincidence. The time they had in digesting the realities they faced was interrupted by the advancing ululations of an ultra-motivated crowd. They moved with dexterity, expertly meandering their way through the clutter of wood and spoilt car parts. They held weapons ranging from cutlasses to clubs, broken bottles to matchboxes. Chants of "Ole! Ole! E mu! E mu! E ma je ko saa lo o! (Thief! Thief! Don't allow him get away)” filled the air. Bursting into the corner, the first thing they saw was the shirt. They seized him by the neck with so much strength that asphyxiation wasn't too far off. She shouted as hard and loud as she can but what is a bird's chirp to a lion's roar? Kerosene was poured on him with the quickness of a food vendor and evil of the devil. A match was lighted and thrown at him. That was when someone, from what she could gather, called OgaTenTen started making a case for his innocence.
"He is not the one! You're killing an innocent man!"
"But Oga! Na you give us masshes and kero now" they replied him.
"Yes..when I thought he was the thief. Now quickly put the fire out!"
" Oga but...."
"Now!"
Then it was too late. He died of second-degree burns at the hospital. Mr John was too devastated to pursue the case any further. That moment lead to his resignation and channelling the entirety of his resources in loving his only daughter. It ignited the hatred of the poor he now has. The apathy to politics he exhibits was birthed by this incident. "Why worry? The poor will still kill themselves!" he told those who cared to listen. He didn't care if they had something contrary to mind. He was made up already.
Iya Tawa, loquacious lady in her late twenties occupied the last stall in the market. Her ability of easily plastering smiles in the faces of customers won her buyers. Her stall was a market in the market, due to the enormous amount of traffic recorded. People came in droves to her shop to have a feel of her comic side. Her wares weren't bad either. Being the last stall, it was always a target for corrupt and twisted minds that see evil in the midst of cooking utensils. Time and again, they've tried their luck in forcing their way into the stall to carry away properties that don't belong to them but have always met a brick wall. The goodwill Iya Tawa enjoyed from her customers helped in no small measure, in curtailing it. Most times, these thieves were apprehended by eagle eyed customers who also came for their personal businesses.
Today's afternoon was a bit different as something really unusual happened. The thief or the alleged thief was a boy who looked very young to even stomach the guts of thinking or plotting to steal, stormed into the stall wearing a Jersey. He wore an extremely rumpled trousers embroidered with different colours of materials used in patching the trousers. It was a beautiful example of a living dead. He wore a boot 6 times his size. He was rugged personified. He came in the stall with no aim at all. He was even confused himself. He walked leisurely as if the world waited for his legs to touch the ground.
"Look here" A customer named Maryam called out. She is the kind of woman that talks of seeing an elephant while peeling yam. The boy neither turned nor answered. It was like nobody talked. He continued his journey into the shop. He stood at a spot for a few seconds to admire a tin of Sardine he saw from distance. That was what attracted him to the stall in the first place. Maryam continued to gaze, like a lion (eagle) hunting his prey, with dazzling intensity at this boy. She looked disgusted, hatred for the boy already plastered on her face.
"You..! Hey! You boy!"
No response. His attitude further disgusted her. She had this urge of walking to where he was and giving him a slap but she withheld herself. The boy, however, continued to stare. He moved closer, lifted his hands to have a feel and hell, buccal hell was let loose.
"Ole! Thief! Thief o! He wants to steal sardine! Look at him there!"
It naturally attracted attention. A man, Mufu very close to where the boy stood, turned and saw the boy's hand on the sardine. That was enough evidence. He bundled the boy out of the shop and sent him crashing to the ground. The boy felt the pain was still evidently confused. He had no idea of what was happening. Mufu grabbed his collar and the pummeling began. He landed blows in quick successions to the face of the poor boy quickly giving his face a swollen appearance. The boy had little or no tears on his face. This further enraged Mufu who continued landing blows on him. This time, a crowd drawn by the pummeling had gathered an orgy of "what happened?" very evident. In the midst of the beatings, a little shiny pouch fell off the boy’s pocket. Maryam sighted it and instantly let out a huge scream, very absurd to describe. Tears moved swiftly, in quick succession, colonising the areas below her nose.
"Madam, wetin happen o!" A bystander asked.
"See my wedding ring! Inside that thing, wey fall from that boy pocket. It’s very expensive. In fact, my husband sent me out of the house. He said I get it before I come back. I never knew that someone stole it".
Hearing this, the number of boxers using the boy as a punching bag increased. OgaTenTen, alerted by the screams of wailers, something he knows too well, came running with tyres, kerosene and matches. In a split second, the boy was on fire. Iya Tawa came running, swinging her hands in the air lamenting on how much destruction she has brought to herself. Her nose expelled catarrh with such vigour that one will be tempted to underpin an existing or old malice between them. She had no shoes on and her legs were covered with sand precipitates. Her talks were befuddling as it was interrupted by voluminous wailings.
"Segun o! Segun..why una do like this?" She asked still sobbing.
"Iya Tawa" Mufu replied. "Why you dey cry? Abi didn't you see when the boy wanted to steal from your shop? Look at that aunty there. He carry her diamond wedding ring. Her husband even..."
"Shut up jaare.. Segun didn't steal her ring. He saw it lying on the floor and brought it to me. I asked him to wait and I consequently forgot. That's why you saw it on him. Segun has mental issues. When you talked to him, did he reply you?
"No. He kept looking at me"
"You see? You just killed an innocent boy. Segun didn't even know his own name. The boy is insane, his senses are not complete but you still killed hm. He didn't know anything he was doing but you killed him. You didn't bother to ask! "
Tears streamed down her face after this revelation. The crowd that gathered was ruffled. Their actions stared back at them, their reflections showing their evils. There was anxiety in the air. Everyone was too scared to talk. The enormity of what happened had yet to simmer down their consciousness. Some had their hands over their mouths. Some pandiculated their hands over their genetic composition ostensibly befuddled by the spur of the moment. Then OgaTenTen broke the ice.
"Eheen, Iya Tawa. Why you no talk since?"
Like the elixir needed, everyone suddenly found their voice. Slowly, they dragged themselves away from the ash Segun was reduced to. Few hours after, Mufu was seen hawking unripe plantain and second-hand boxers.
source
Sam lived in suburban Manowosho alone. Nobody knew where he came from, where he was born or who his father was. He lived a good life, however. All life's essentials he had in abundance. The very funny thing about his lifestyle was his humility. He mixed freely with locals, bringing down any social stratification that ought to have separated them in the first place. In the mornings, he came out to Iya Hafusa's canteen for a breakfast of Bread, Akara and Tea. He stays back even after completing his meal to converse with customers after which he goes back home to stay indoors. Jane, his girlfriend, was his only visitor. She came in as usual that Sunday afternoon to a very scattered house.
"Sam can't even put his house in order!"
"I have you. Why should I bother?"
"Oh! Now you're a talker! I hope you aren't amongst those that reduce women to mere dusting shelves and arranging things on a locker?"
"Hahaha. Who said anything about that? Anyways, marry me today. You'll find out the answer proper!"
They're always like this, two poets in love. What you'll get will be akin to giving a blank paper to Wole Soyinka.
"Babe, there's no oil"
"What do you need it for?" Sam asked. "The shrilly sound your fries make makes me bored, I mean, it's very tough but why don't you...."
"Just shut up and go get us oil"
"Yes, boss!"
Sam quickly dressed up and made for the market. Iya Tawa's shop was the closest. He went into to a welcoming smile from Iya Tawa. The smile mirrors familiarity. Sam didn't bother replying her smiles back. He proceeded to where oil was kept, carried one and made for the door. He totally forgot that he hadn't paid for it.
"Iya tawa! Come see o. Come see the thief! He just carry kero now now and he no pay. He wan run. Ole! Ole! Ole"
OgaTenTen needed no invitation. However, he was attending to a client so he delegated Mufu to fulfil the dishonourable task of burning the thief to death. Mufu ran liked a possessed dog seeking a bone in the heights his legs attained in course if the race. This time, a small group of people had gathered...as usual. They've begun softening Sam with blows, heavy blows to the different part of his body. The man was too shocked to talk. Who will even believe his story? That he took something and forgot to pay! But where is Iya Tawa? She knows that he has never done something like that for over 6 years he has been frequenting her stall. Iya Tawa was busy however, customers were after her attention. Leaving her stall was akin to financial suicide. She did support the exercise by uttering "Beat him" "Useless thief".
Mufu arrived and within few minutes, Sam was on fire. His screams alerted different people. They all came to watch how a thief was facing hell. "He brought it upon himself!" They told each other. OgaTenTen surprisingly felt nostalgic when he heard this voice. He tried remembering where he heard the voice to no avail. He made his way to the scene and saw the greatest shock of his life.
"Sam!"
"Saaamu o!
"Sam!"
"Sam!"
"Sam!"
"Sam? Sam!"
"Sam!"
Everyone was surprised. 7 different people identified "this thief". OgaTenTen was the first to talk.
"Wait o. Is this the thief? "
"Yes" Mufu replied.
"No. It can't be. It's impossible! Sam is the son of my ex-boss who was a very rich man. Sam can never steal. It's impossible. You have killed an innocent man. It’s impossible!"
"OgaTenTen" Mufu replied. "So na because you know this one abi. How many innocent people you don kill? How many inno...."
"Wo shut up jaare!" Iya Tawa interrupted him. She was crying profusely. "This man has been coming to my shop for 6 years. He never ever steal before. Even, the money him father leave for am fit buy my shop x10000. When my mama need money for eye surgery, na him donate all. I no even know am that time. And una say he steal oil...oil!" .Another round of tears.
"Iya, no talk o!" Mufu countered. "No be you dey shout beat am that time? Oh abi na because you know am?"
"That is not the issue here" Maryam said. "The issue here is that you killed an innocent man. I know Sam. His father was my father's godfather. I did everything to make him date me but he didn't fancy me. He is very rich and can never steal. You will pay for this nonsense!"
"See this one. When you shout sey that mad boy, innocent boy thief your wedding ring and they burn am, you pay? You pay? Boy wey mad before. But you no see. Madam better shut up."
"Young man, you don't seem to understand the enormity of your offence. You just extra-judiciously killed someone!"
"Oga John Cassidy, the millionaire. Today you commot o. You wey hate us poor people. You too know the boy?"
"Yes. He is my brother's son. Ever since my wife and son died, I stopped caring."
"Why you're leading now?" Mufu asked sarcastically. "Why? If to say you keared before, shey this for happen ni? You even get mouth to talk. You wey dey insult poor people. Dey call us nonsense. In fact, talk again I swear to God, na for God place we go finish am."
(( "But not Sam..not Sam!" Mary said.
"You dey talk. You wey government say dem go build police station for here and you chop the contributions wey we make? You get mouth?"
Mufu landed her a very dirty slap. He still held the kerosene with a matchbox protruding his breast pocket.
"Mufu, you must answer for this nonsense at the station"
Mufu exploded into hysteric laughter frenetically absurd for linguistic description.
"You? Police? #50 bribe and you agree to change your destiny. Shey I should tell everyone about the Indian hemp we sell? Or the...."
"Shut up"))
The police hissed and walked away. The next to talk was Iya Riki, the women market leader. A calm and well-loved woman.
"My people. This is becoming too much. We need to do something about it"
"Aaaaaah!" OgaTenTen shouted. He was in tears. "I regret. I regret!" He said turning his back and walking away. One by one, they shook their heads and dispersed. A few minutes later, Mufu was seen hawking used diapers.
