
This is an article from my recent experience that might inspire and teach you lessons.
I have felt the black and white of life for 25 years since I was born. From start upholding alcohol to being active as a youth mosque. That labile is my young soul, sometimes especially in a mosque sometimes becomes a hero on stage performing loud music. But there is one thing that is different, I am a person who sometimes visits the mosque in the last third of the night to share my life, my sins, and my dreams to God. Until finally I learned what is "love".
I have wandered from one love to another. But until I experienced the saturation point and I decided in my heart, "This is the last girlfriend I will marry this woman". The beginning of the story when I saw a woman who made me "ngefans" with him. Call it Veve, he is my junior but his age is older than me on campus. I was so nostalgic that I often stole downloads of his photos on Facebook to look for his personality and the latest news about him. In iktikaf there is always a prayer for him, "O God, bring us closer. I will make her happy and marry her ”tears were falling in the early morning.
Hey, it turns out that prayer was answered by God. A few days before graduation we were approached, although having to abandon my goals at that time working abroad was not a problem because I prefer veve for my future. I have already taken a contract with a production company in Malaysia, but I ended up revoking the contract because I chose to help Veve complete the thesis. Yes, I did the veve thesis and that's where we were close and finally we invented.
Long story short our relationship is getting harder and harder to get together. We are both learning to improve ourselves to be even better. Until finally we agreed and promised to get married. Getting married if you don't work is certainly very risky, and we also find it difficult to find work in Indonesia. We went from city to city to pursue our dreams. I aspire to work at a property company and Veve works at a bank. I finally got a job in Jogja for a beauty company and veve not been able to work. For the motivation of veve to start my depression, I promised veve if he was accepted to work in Jogja, then my salary account for veve. Besides that, I pray again that veve can work at the bank in accordance with her dream, the tears dripping again in prayer.
I didn't know that veve was finally accepted at a state-owned bank in Jogja. But being shocked to enter the workforce at a large company also brought Veve down. Almost every day Veve's tears run down my shoulders because of the hard working atmosphere. Seeing her cry my heart again determined "you must make him happy". Finally, as much as I can motivate Veve, starting from shopping, culinary, traveling, giving modest advice, mijitin if she is tired, what Veve asks as much as possible I keep whatever the important situation veve can be happy to be strong in facing her workday. As time went by, Veve started to get up and get used to it, my salary was far below that of Veve.
Finally we can save for the future, we can go out of town together, and so on. Even though I have to work extra at night when he sleeps, I am still in front of the computer scraping pictures for my small business. I sometimes lie to him when veve asking me if there's money or not? I often say there is, even though there really isn't. I do this so that he gets more rations than me, enough for me to eat rice with emping rice and water as long as veve remains happy. I sincerely do all this to make him happy and comfortable with me. Our relationship is also very far away, my mother and father already consider veve as their own children.
2 years we loved each other until suddenly there was no problem what he changed, at the end of December he went back to hanging out and didn't even want to see me again. Sadly when I explained that I had been dismissed from the company, he did not budge in the slightest just to meet me. Because I continued to urge finally we met and Veve said honestly if he had had a new love with another man. Ruined my feelings of the woman I love the most with her struggle, the heart to do this at a time when I lost my job even he was reluctant to know me again
These tears finally came back to spill before God. It turned out that God really loved me, because indeed I often forget God when with him. I'm more busy making him happy than visiting God who gave His love for me. Allah returned me to the true path of taqwa. This deep wound in the heart is a reminder that God is everything. Your hard struggle means nothing to a human. But the hard struggle because God will get you more than what you stand for. Now I will not hold grudges or anger towards Veve, learn to be sincere and keep praying for him in the last third of the night. May Allah give me a better job and bring us closer to a condition where we are istiqomah on the path of taqwa and we will sit together in the last third of the night for our children later. That is my goal in the past one third last night.