- An interview with the most feared pirate across the Steemiverse - Oendertuerk.
- Weapon recommendations for the discerning fighter.
- Essential reading for the Steempunk fan.
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[The interviewer was extremely nervous about meeting this infamous pirate, but suspects he may have had a few rums first as he was in a mellow and chatty mood.]
Interviewer: First off, are you an Aristocrat or an Adventurer?
Oendertuerk: I am an adventurer, also known as the Great Pirate, ruler of the Seven Steems.
[The pirate swings his sword around to emphasise his point. The interviewer had to duck several times to avoid the lethal blade.]
Interviewer: Why did you choose to become an Adventurer?
Oendertuerk: I love to travel, to do strange things and to be an outlaw.
Interviewer: Before this, did you lead a life of hardship or privilege?
Oendertuerk: Outlaws have always hard lifes, their hard lifes are the reason why they become outlaws or pirates like me.
Interviewer: As a pirate, do you have any pets?
Oendertuerk: Ayee... I had a wolf when I was a child. She was my only family. She protects me often. She is now in the wolfs heaven.
Interviewer: So do you have a family? Siblings?
Oendertuerk: I do not even know if I have parents and you ask me for siblings? I do not need siblings. Family is something for losers, aristocrat-loser!
[At this point the interviewer begins to suspect the calming rum-haze is wearing off, as the pirate looks, in that moment, a mix of a bit of strangeness and crazy. So the interviewer hastily changes the subject.]
Interviewer: Um, what is your favourite ice cream flavour?
Oendertuerk: Ayee, Strecetella with strawberries.
[The pirate begins to look dreamy.]
Interviewer: Do you have a favourite book?
Oendertuerk: hahaha... book??
[after laughing he looks confused]
Holy shit! Am I an aristocrat or what??
Interviewer: So what do you like to do for fun?
Oendertuerk: I drink rum and play poker for fun and sometimes I slap aristocrats, that is the most fun!
Interviewer: Do you think you have any special talents?
Oendertuerk: Eating steaks, drinking rum and playing poker! Is this also considered as talents?
Interviewer: Speaking of food, what do you eat for breakfast before going into a big battle?
Oendertuerk: I love steaks, with eggs and potatoes.
[After this he looks hungry, and shows the interviewer a picture of his most recent breakfast, on his phone.]
Interviewer: A very hearty meal indeed. So what is your training routine?
Oendertuerk: Training is for beginners! Pirates do not need to train, we are natural-born talented fighters!
Interviewer: Keeping in mind then that not all warriors have such talent, what advice would you give to a new fighter?
Oendertuerk: Hmmm... ayee... eat a lot of steak and eggs, get strong and take everything with you - what you find after a battle!
Interviewer: Do you have a favourite weapon?
Oendertuerk: Ayee... my Lisa - a sword in with love I am - she loves me, you know? And I love her, at battles she sings for me.
[At this point he picks up his sword, looking at it with love.]
[The interviewer wishes they were sitting just a little further away.]
Interviewer: Do you have a personal motto, or battle cry?
Oendertuerk: I don't need a battle cry, I have Lisa. I swing her when I run to the battle and than she begins to sing for me, a song of love you know?
[He looks with love at the sword again.]
Interviewer: Speaking of battles, what do you think of UltimaCorp?
Oendertuerk: Woooaaaaah! They are racketeers! I will soon capsize and take over UltimaCorp, then Clockwork City will be mine! harr harrr harrr....
[He laughs viciously, and the interviewer looks around desperately for some more rum.]
Interviewer: Err ... our readers would love to know - where do you keep your guns?
Oendertuerk: You are asking the wrong question. I will not tell you that! And when I do that, I will shoot you down, like I shot the sheriff...
[And at this point he begins to sing the song "I shot the sheriff"... They take a short break from the interview.]
Interviewer: What colour would you like to see the Clockwork Arena painted?
Oendertuerk: I am a pirate and we know only 3 colours. The blue of the sky, the dirty yellow in the clouds and the red on Lisa, after a fight!
[He looks determined and thirsty and then takes a drink of rum. A long drink.]
Go ask this question to a painter or artist.
Interviewer: Do you have any allergies? Habits?
Oendertuerk: My allergies are aristocrats ...
[He begins to look vicious.]
... and my habits are steaks, eggs and rum!
[Then he looks hungry and in love. The interviewer begins to think this is a very strange interview indeed.]
Interviewer: Favourite snacks & drink?
Oendertuerk: Are we going to a picnic or what?? We don't go for a tea party with cookies! We will fight and blood will splash and squirt and you will hear beside Lisa's sweet singing voice and the scream of pain everywhere ... after that we can snack on something and drink rum, a lot of rum!
[He starts to look bloodthirsty, with psychopathic craziness in his eyes.]
Interviewer: What dreams do you have for the future?
Oendertuerk: I am not a clairvoyant! I am a pirate, and pirates don't think further than the next meal or the next batttle!
Interviewer: If you were given access to the laboratory at UltimaCorp, what would you create?
Oendertuerk: Ayee ... myself. A clone of me with an even bigger belly and stomach, so I can eat more steaks and eggs and drink a lot more rum.
[He grins widely.]
Interviewer: As you have said before you agreed to do the interview, you will not let our photographer take a picture of you for this article, so can you at least describe to our readers what you look like?
Oendertuerk: No, when I do that, you will know me! Not good, nooot goood! I am like the shadow of the clouds which that will be laid over you when we meet each other in the fight, then you will see me and hear what Lisa will sing for me. Her lovesong for me is the deathsong for you! harrr harrr harrr...
[He now looks even a bit more psychopathic-crazy than usual.]
Interviewer: Errr ... is there anything you would like to add, for our readers?
Oendertuerk: If you want to join us, the Guild of Wolfguards, you must bring rum, a lot of rum and you must play poker, with me, and you must lose! And grill with me and listen to Lisa, when she begins to sing for me ...
Why do you ask me these questions? Do you have not something better to do? Do you want to join us?? We need a cook on our airship. Can you cook? I like steaks and eggs and potatoes, and rum, a lot of rum! BUT BEWARE!!! If you can not cook well, I'll throw you out of the airship! harrr harrr harrr ...
[At this point he laughs very loudly, while sounding even much more psychopathic and crazy; and after that he drinks down most of what is left of his bottle of rum, which the interviewer takes as a sign to leave - quickly.]
Interviewer: Err, well it has been a pleasure and an honour to talk with you today ...
which we found in the archives; we would like to remind our readers of the usefulness of these gems.Here is an excerpt from his book, regarding Ponzi’s Shotgun of Multiplied Pain:
source
Since renamed in the catalogues to Ponzi's Shotgun of the Multiplied Chastisement (a fierce-sounding weapon indeed!)
(Information gathered from Goodreads.)
by Frank Beddor
When Alyss Heart, newly orphaned heir to the Wonderland throne, flees through the Pool of Tears to escape her murderous Aunt Redd, she finds herself lost and alone in Victorian London. Befriended by an aspiring author named Lewis Carrol, Alyss tells the violent, heartbreaking story of her young life. Alyss trusts this author to tell the truth so that someone, somewhere will find her and bring her home. But he gets the story all wrong. He even spells her name incorrectly!
source
by Pip Ballantine, Tee Morris
In Victorian England, Londoners wash up dead on Thames, drained of blood and bone. Clandestine Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences is forbidden to investigate. But Eliza Braun, with bulletproof corset, fondness for dynamite, remarkable devices, drags along timorous new partner Wellington Books, of encyclopedic brain, against Phoenix intent on enslaving Britons.
source
by Brian Selznick
Orphan, clock keeper, and thief, Hugo lives in the walls of a busy Paris train station, where his survival depends on secrets and anonymity. But when his world suddenly interlocks with an eccentric, bookish girl and a bitter old man who runs a toy booth in the station, Hugo's undercover life, and his most precious secret, are put in jeopardy. A cryptic drawing, a treasured notebook, a stolen key, a mechanical man, and a hidden message from Hugo's dead father form the backbone of this intricate, tender, and spellbinding mystery.
source
Guild of WolfGuards
invites you to join them in the game
Source
an awesome MMORPG blockchain game you can play simply by doing the things you normally do on Steemit; and it doesn't matter what your rep level is, everyone has an equal chance of winning battles and collecting loot.
So if you want to know more about the project and maybe joining a Guild for extra fun and support, enter the
server, follow the welcome guides, and get your game on.You can battle your friends, or find new opponents to annihilate in the Clockwork Arena.
(exta tags: #nobidbot #books #steampunk #newsletter)