Nearly one in four Frenchmen has already fallen in love at his workplace. But must we live this love freely or, on the contrary, hide it?
Falling in love at work ? This happens on average to a quarter of the employees according to an opinion poll published in October 2015. But if the romances in the office are legion in the companies, a question remains whole: must one live his love in the open or on the contrary to hide his colleagues and his hierarchy?
To answer this question, Marieclaire.com asked American coach Liz Bentley to list the rules of romance at the office.
Love in the office: a delicate situation
While the business world is constantly changing, the romances at the office do not necessarily have a good reputation. The famous "sofa promotion" thus taints the relations between colleagues or between an employee and his / her hierarchical superior.
In spite of everything, the line that separates work life from personal life is becoming increasingly blurred. "How would it be otherwise when we spend most of our time at work and create a" professional network "?", Asks American coach Liz Bentley. "This time in the company leaves us too few opportunities to meet other people," she says.
Not to mention that the Millenials (which are now the most represented generation in the world of work) have moved the lines. They are very important to share common spaces and to collaborate fully with their teams: ingredients that necessarily influence socialization in companies and therefore the number of couples trained in the office.
Love in the office: a question of phases
These changes in morals, however, are not incentives for romantic relationships within a company. Office loves must follow some rules of decency, depending on the "phase" in which the couple in question is located.
Phase 1: the favorite
In the romances at the office, phase 1 is that of "coup de coeur". Yet this is not a reason to consider this relationship lightly. Rule # 1 of the intimate relationship at the office? Do not start if the blow of heart is serious and real. The office is certainly not a place where you have to "try it" and wait to see. Rule 2? Move slowly and cautiously. "Be discreet at the beginning: it allows you to wait to see if the relationship becomes serious," Liz Bentley said. Thus: no gestures in love with the office, no sweet word, no colleagues put in the confidence and especially a double dose of professionalism.
Phase 2: between love affair and serious relationship
More than an adventure or the beginnings of a relationship, your couple has gone through a few steps and you are now spinning perfect love with your office colleague. First step: make sure that you are solid (and this on both sides) before unveiling your feelings in open space.
This phase of stabilization also requires discretion: you are not going to reveal everything in order to ultimately have to explain your separation three weeks later.
Phase 3: True Love
Your love has transformed over time into a beautiful and passionate love relationship. Phase 2 - that of questions and projections - has passed and it is high time to divulge your love to your superior.
A few things to know before you get started:
Keep not letting your personal life encroach on your office life.
Find out about the workplace policy in your company. Some regulations may be strict on this issue.
Be careful not to leave doubts about favoritism. Your colleagues must not suffer from your romance.
Some companies propose to the parties concerned (you, your partner and your hierarchy) to sign a "contract of love" to avoid the pitfalls of an end of relationship.
If you have to leave, stay professional and discreet: do not talk openly and let your teams realize that you have broken up.
Last thing: these rules and advice on your relations only concern the romantic relationships in company. The important thing is to protect yourself and also make according to the customs and habits of your business.
