Before we start the new series, here are the results from my mini-challenge yesterday:
My favorite names were:
Thing 1 and Thing 2
Sinky and Floaty
Saitama
Rock and Bottom
Kate Moss
Uranium and Polonium
Those are more than two, obviously, so I needed to decide on two. Kate Moss and Saitama won, first one because of the pun, the second one because it’s Japanese and also the name of One Punch Man. 
”Okay, put more sticky pads on him.”
The assistant looks at Dr. Lemoine with desperation.
”More?” He asks.
”Yes, are you deaf? Put more of them on him. He still doesn’t stick to the wall.”
”But we’ve covered 20% of his body’s surface by now. He’s getting uncomfortable.”
Dr. Lemoine puts down her notes and stares at her assistant.
”This is scientific research”, she says. ”You’re employed to assist me. When you signed up for this job, you were told that this is the department for unusual studies. What did you expect?”
”I don’t know.” The assistant’s gaze moves towards the floor as he awkwardly shuffles his feet. ”More like … clones. Or something.”
The cold radiated by Dr. Lemoine can almost be felt.
”Cloning?”, she asks. ”Are you serious? That’s not even that unusual. Our department has the obligation to answer questions originally asked as a joke. Because the answer to that can further scientific research in ways not imaginable. Understood?”
Her assistant nods, dutifully.
”Alright then. Now put more sticky pads on that poor man before he dies of boredom.”
The assistant obliges and covers the test subject in more of the adhesive that had been produced especially for this experiment. 30% of the man’s body is now covered, which equals 60% of his front. The pads have to be located on the same side for the experiment to work.
Slowly, very slowly, the man moves towards the wall in front of which a camera is placed. Carefully, he presses his arms and upper body against the wall, then lifts himself up until his feet are dangling in the air. For a few seconds, he actually sticks to the wall but then the adhesive rips off and he crashes to the floor.
”More pads”, Dr. Lemoine just says. Her commands are followed without question this time.
40% body surface covered. The man looks incredibly uncomfortable as not even his face is free of patches anymore. He repeats the procedure from before.
This time, it works.
”Now, try to move up!”, Dr. Lemoine instructs her test subject.
”How am I supposed to do that?” The man asks with a muffled voice. For a moment, Lemoine thinks about this question.
”You’re right, that might be a bit complicated. Take him down, guys! I have what I needed.”
The assistant and two other bystanders carefully remove the man stuck to the wall and peel the sticky pads off his body. Dr. Lemoine doesn’t pay much attention to them, she needs to complete her notes.
”40% of the body’s surface needed to be covered. That is too much. Way too much! But I should have expected that. Mites need about 200 times less surface covered compared to geckos. It seems like the percentage of surface rises with the size. We can’t keep up with that!”
She stares at her results. It seems like humans won’t be to copy a gecko’s way of sticking to walls anytime soon.
But what if they used something stickier?
Disclaimer: The “Bullshit Research” series is based on actual scientific papers. While the results are accurate, the way of testing and the people involved are fictional.
Source:
Why Spider-Man can’t exist: Geckos are ‘size limit’ for sticking to walls
Picture taken from pixabay.com
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