As I clean up my messy cupboard, my eyes swell with tears and by the time I clear my tears up, I realize that I had pulled all clothes down and it was lying around me. I sat down in the mess, burying my face into my hands, whining gloriously and uncontrollably. The year had been bad, hurtful, the people I had furiously loved, had turned me down and I didn't know how to handle all that was happening around. I realized I was at the weakest at that day. Then an idea popped out of the helluva brain I owned. How about cutting of some nerves out of the nervous system I had. Hmmm, beautiful but dangerous, I would then have a documentary named “Bloodshed” made in memory of me. Giving up the idea, I lifted myself and gathered all the mess and dumped it back into the cupboard.



I had my bestie pick me the next day for a cup of coffee. She drove me to a café, 10 mins from home. It's an open place, people all over enjoying the food on their plate. She bought me coffee and a plate of my favourite cheese cake. We sat in a corner, she held my hand, and again I could find myself whining. All the water that I gulped that day, to keep my body hydrated, was pouring out of my eyes like rains that were send down by the rain Gods themselves. She gasped my hand, then told her crestfallen story. At the end of it, the rains had left me, my eyes cleared and I looked at her and squeezed her hand and I told, “Girl, you are my Oprah”. This was an overdose of me watching Oprah Winfrey shows, the last few days. I gave her a hug and saw a hero in her.



As I walked back home, my hair flying in the chill wind, (note I had an expensive haircut that day), taking slow breaths, my hand wrapped in folds, I realized, God’s universe is so humongous, we are little stars present there. There are times we would fade or hallucinate that we are fading away, just to realize that....God was just recolouring us, so that we could shine brighter and spread our light in a way he wants us to do. Just quoting my favourite Oprah here “If you don't know what your passion is, realize that one reason for your existence on Earth is to find it.” I read the passion as purpose. To all the Oprah's who walked into my life and taught me lessons, thank you. And thank God, fortunately I missed the chance of having a bloodshed documentary dedicated to me. I really love missing things. Amen!!!

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