The Popular Depression is an unpublished book I wrote in my first year of college.
It was inspired by a cigarette pack on a coffee table that I noticed at a house party.
My eyes were drawn to the Health Canada warning on the box of cigarettes.
I think the statistic about tobacco-related deaths was supposed to be the scary one. But, for some reason, I was more alarmed by the fact more people died by killing themselves than by getting into car accidents.
I never did anything with the book I wrote. Looking back, some of the amateurish writing makes me cringe. But, the concept behind The Popular Depression is an important theme for us to think about.
Here is the eleventh chapter from The Popular Depression.
Chapter 11
“I’m not going mom. End of story.”
“Yes you are, Ethan,” Diane replies.
“No, I’m dead serious… I am not going to church today.”
Ethan has just suffered the worst night of his life… less than 20 hours have passed and his former girlfriend is about the last person he wants to see.
“Why don’t you want to go?” Diane asks. “You haven’t missed church in ages—plus Liberty is going to be there.”
Ethan gulps hard. He hasn’t told Diane about his fight with Liberty. He debates whether he will at all. It hurts too much to talk about. The only thing worse than going to church and seeing Liberty is having to tell his mom about what happened.
“I just… I just don’t want to go… alright?”
“That’s not good enough, Ethan. If there’s something wrong I want you to tell me about it.”
Ethan glares at his mom.
“Are you and Liberty getting along?”
The question makes Ethan’s stomach clench up. He wishes he could just escape all of this, just disappear. Ethan remains silent.
“What happened Ethan?”
Ethan continues to pause.
“If I agree to go to church will you stop asking me questions?” Ethan negotiates.
“OK fine. But Ethan, if you need to talk to me I’m here for you.”
Diane, Cindy and Ethan walk in the front doors of the church and shake Pastor Hendrik’s hand.
“And how is the Tate family doing this morning?” Pastor Hendrik asks.
“Wonderful,” Diane replies.
“Really good,” Cindy adds.
Ethan nods to Pastor Hendrik’s question and forces a smile.
The Tate clan walk into the church and Ethan sees familiar blonde hair. To Liberty’s right sits her father and to his right sits her mother. Ethan begins to feel ill. He notices that his vision is blurred. He begins to see stars. The whole room is spinning slowly and he thinks he might puke. He turns pale. His heart hurts. He sweats profusely. Emotional pain has built up inside of him and he doesn’t think he can move.
Ethan suddenly realizes he can not let his mother lead the family to the usual spot. In an act of desperation, Ethan turns to his mother.
“Can we sit at the back today?”
Diane looks at her son. His eyes: eager, frantic and desperate.
Diane is about to say, “yes,” to Ethan’s request when she looks down the aisle and sees Cindy already tapping Mrs. Hollingsworth to let her past so she can sit by Liberty. Cindy looks back, and makes a motion with her hand for Ethan and Diane to come join her.
“I’m sorry,” Diane says, looking at Ethan.
She puts her arm around her son and they walk up the aisle. When they get to the row that the Hollingsworth family is seated, Diane gives a smile to Mr. and Mrs. Hollingsworth and moves toward a vacant seat.
The hour-long service seems like an eternity.
After Pastor Hendrik completes his message the congregation stands and begins to make their way out of the auditorium. Ethan tries hard to think of a plan to exit the building while avoiding conversation with the Hollingsworth family. His plan is useless. Mr. Hollingsworth extends his hand to Ethan.
“Ethan my boy, how are you doing?” He asks. “You’re quiet this mornin’, something wrong, kiddo?”
Ethan looks at Liberty. It seems as though he wasn’t the only one who opted not to tell family members about last night’s incident. Ethan is somewhat relieved that this is the alternative to what would be an awkward silence if his ex-girlfriend’s parents actually did know.
“Nothing is wrong, sir. I’m just a little tired… I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” says Ethan, returning the handshake.
Ethan notices Liberty put on her best fake smile.
“Ethan, would you, your mother and your sister care to join us for lunch?” Mrs. Hollingsworth asks, jumping in the conversation.
Liberty’s head spins frantically towards the direction of her mother. Ethan chokes on air. Mr. and Mrs. Hollingsworth wait for a response.
“Actually I’ve got to take Ethan to an orthodontist appointment in half an hour… but thank you for the invitation,” Diane replies before anyone can think of a response.
“Oh, that’s too bad… another time then,” Mrs. Hollingsworth says.
Ethan looks at his mother and examines her. There is no orthodontist appointment. Are orthodontists even open on Sundays? Ethan doesn’t care. His mother just saved him from the worst afternoon of his life. Ethan even notices Liberty give Diane a genuine smile.
When Ethan, Diane, and Cindy get back to their house Diane puts her left hand on Ethan’s right shoulder. Cindy wanders past and goes in the direction of her room.
“So are you going to let me in on what’s going on? Or are you going to tell me that I told a bold-faced lie in church for nothing?”
Ethan turns to his mom.
“We broke up.”
“Oh hon,” Diane says as she walks towards Ethan and embraces him. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
She holds him tightly.
After a moment Diane asks, “Why?”
“I don’t really want to say, mom. We made a couple of mistakes. Last night at the volleyball game we got in a big fight. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”
Ethan’s mom continues to hug him. Ethan pulls away and looks at her. Both of their eyes are slightly watering.
“Maybe it’s better off this way. If this little of a fight can break us up, maybe we aren’t supposed to be together.”
Diane considers this.
“Well Ethan, you’re both still very young. Liberty is a sweetheart, but if you two aren’t ready to continue your relationship, then it’s perfectly fine. I’m sure that if you and Liberty are meant to be together, you’ll work things out.”
The words seem distant to Ethan, but he appreciates the sympathetic effort on behalf of his mother.
Cindy re-enters the room. Ethan turns to her.
“Are you going to help me make lunch?” Ethan asks his little sister as he wipes the remaining moisture out of his eye.
Cindy nods, begins to gather the utensils, and sets the table.
After lunch Ethan grabs his keys for the Tacoma. He needs to get his mind off of all of this. Off of Liberty.
“I’m heading out mom,” Ethan says.
“Where to?”
“Just going to the gym to shoot around.”
“Any homework?”
“Nothing that won’t be waiting for me when I get home in a couple hours.”
“I hope not.”
“Bye.”
Ethan walks into the CCH gymnasium and flips on the lights. The upward facing fixtures take a few minutes to reach full brightness. Ethan notices the bleachers have been pulled out, probably because they were never put back from the volleyball game the night before. Ethan looks up at the section of bleachers where he and Liberty sat on Saturday night. His mind begins to remember the situation. His gut clenches and he feels the urge to vomit.
While waiting for the lights to come on, Ethan opens the equipment room with a key that Coach Fox gave him last year (Ethan was the only player to receive one). Once in the room, Ethan flips on the lights, and then walks towards the cabinet where game-balls are kept.
Ethan grabs the Spalding basketball and walks back out toward the gym. The lights are now fully illuminated. Ethan walks up to the three point line while dribbling the ball. He bends his knees slightly while he holds the ball inches above his forehead. In one motion: his legs straighten, his feet leave the ground, his right arm extends forward, and he releases the ball. He listens as the ball dodges the rim and brushes against the white netting while making a familiar sound. The ball bounces numerous times directly underneath the basket, and then comes to a rest. Ethan walks toward the ball, picks it up, and dribbles it back to the exact same spot he just shot from. Using the same uniform motion, Ethan releases the ball once again. The result is identical. Ethan does this routine eight times. Every time the result is the same. He begins to wonder if he will ever miss. After hitting his 12th straight basket Ethan goes back for another shot. Just as he about to release, something throws off his concentration.
“Why are you using the game ball? You don’t want to curse it for the rest of us.”
It’s too late to hold back. Ethan, already in the shooting motion, releases the ball. Once again the ball avoids the rim; however, this time, it doesn’t touch netting either.
“See what I mean? You could’ve just used a girl’s ball if you were planning on shooting air-balls all afternoon.”
Ethan turns around. He starts walking slowly towards the source of the sound.
“Easy guy, you’re not still mad abou—”
“You have some nerve coming in here,” Ethan says, still pacing towards a motionless Jared Winston. Ethan’s speed increases.
“Seriously, calm down Tate. I’m sorry alright? It’s not that big of a deal.”
Ethan is now running toward Jared. He pushes him into the bleachers. Jared falls and the back of his head cracks the fourth row of the wooden seating structure. Ethan moves in front of Jared and punches him just below his right eye. Ethan’s right hand swells with pain, but he doesn’t hesitate in punching Jared three more times in the face. Finally, Jared pushes Ethan off with every ounce of energy that he has. He tackles Ethan to the floor and holds his arms down so that Ethan is defenseless. Ethan squirms, struggling to get out of the hold, but Jared stays firm.
“Just calm the fuck down!” Jared yells.
There is blood oozing out of Jared’s nose from one of the punches that Ethan landed.
“I’m not going to punch you back… even though I could. I just need you to calm down. I’m sorry alright. I shouldn’t have told Liberty about you two having sex. That wasn’t cool. But what you have to realize is that I fucked up, and that’s life. It was a mistake. I know I’m probably you’re least favourite person in the world right now… but you should really listen to me. You are better off this way. Liberty is way too emotional to handle. You may think you want that, but you have to realize we are in high school. These are the glory days, dude. You can’t limit yourself to one girl, especially when that girl doesn’t even want to have sex. If you ask me, I did you a big fucking favour.”
Ethan glares at Jared, but doesn't say anything.
“So she broke up with you last night?”
“What the hell do you think?” Ethan asks.
“Dude… I know you’re pissed, but if something as small as sex can break you two up… you’re better off.”
Ethan continues to stare at Jared while clenching his jaw.
“Like I said, I’m sorry, but I really think you should take my advice and move on.”
Ethan finally makes a movement and pushes Jared off of him. Ethan brushes the newly acquired dust off of the back of his shirt. Jared stares at Ethan, waiting for a response.
“You have no idea what you ruined last night. You wouldn’t even be able to comprehend how good of a thing I had going. You wrecked it for me.”
Ethan goes on.
“Now in five seconds, you better be out of this gym… because I have no problem spreading more of your blood on these bleachers.”
Jared stands still for a moment, then silently walks out of the gym.
Ethan walks toward the basketball. With his throbbing right hand he dribbles it to the same spot that he had just hit 12 of 13 shots from. He crouches in his routine form, and then extends while releasing the ball. The ball falls three feet short of the basket, bounces twice, then hits the end wall. Ethan decides to take his 86 per cent shooting average and call it a day.
After locking up the gym, Ethan walks outside and unlocks his Tacoma. While getting into the truck he bumps his swollen hand on the steering wheel. He stares at his fingers as they throb and he wonders if his swollen hand is broken.
Though the pain is immense, Ethan can’t help but give a half-smile as he thinks about how Jared got it worse.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11