The Popular Depression is a book I wrote in my first year of college.

It was inspired by a cigarette pack on a coffee table that I noticed at a house party.

My eyes were drawn to the Health Canada warning on the box of cigarettes.

I think the statistic about tobacco-related deaths was supposed to be the scary one. But, for some reason, I was more alarmed by the fact more people died by killing themselves than by getting into car accidents.

I never did anything with the book I wrote. Looking back, some of the amateurish writing makes me cringe. But, the concept behind The Popular Depression is an important theme for us to think about.

Here is the eightteenth chapter from The Popular Depression.

Chapter 18

A light knock wakes Ethan up and a familiar voice says, “Ethan, hun, are you in there?”
Ethan looks at his clock: 10:03 a.m. He predicts that he got less than two hours of sleep. There is no way he can get out of bed, make it to church by 11:00 a.m. and then stay awake throughout the sermon.
“I don’t think I’m going to go mom… I’m really tired,” Ethan responds.
The door opens.
“Ethan… we had an agreement,” Diane says as she enters the room. “Now I wasn’t comfortable with you going out last night, but you assured me that you would be home and ready in time for church.”
Diane studies the room.
“What time did you get home at? I didn’t even hear you come in. Did you not get any sleep?”
Ethan turns to his mother.
“I got home at around midnight. Jared and his mom had to go to the hospital because Jared’s step-dad was in a car accident. Jared dropped me off on his way over.”
“Oh no, that’s terrible!” Diane replies.
“Yeah, but I had a really bad sleep and I just can’t go to church today,” Ethan says convincingly.
“Well I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well son, but you are coming to church.”
Ethan looks up at his mom.
“No, mom, I’m not,” he begins. “I’m old enough to decide whether or not I want to go to church, and frankly… church is the last place I want to be this morning.”
Diane stares at her son as he lies in bed. She is concerned. Ethan has changed over the last month.
“Is there something wrong Ethan? I’m here to talk about whatever is bothering you.”
“Nothing is wrong, OK?” Ethan snaps back with little hesitation.
Diane stands calmly over Ethan, staring at her son who is staring right back at her.
“Watch your tone with me, Ethan,” Diane says firmly. “Now whether or not you go to church today is your decision… but when I get home I want to talk to you, and I want you to have a different attitude.”
Diane stands there for a few seconds, but when it seems like Ethan isn’t going to respond she slowly walks out of the room. Just before she exits, Ethan sarcastically blurts out, “I can hardly wait,” slightly louder than he anticipated. Diane hears the comment, but ignores it.
Ethan tries to go back to sleep. He can’t. He wonders what his mom will scold him about after she returns from church. Sitting in his bed he hears Diane and Cindy talking in the kitchen.
“Is Ethan coming to church, mom?” Cindy asks.
“No, hun, he’s not feeling up to it this morning. You’ll see your brother when you get home from church.”
“But he promised he was going to come today.”
A brief silence…
“I’m sorry sweetheart.”
Guilt eats away at Ethan’s stomach. He wants to vomit.
Other than the extreme drowsiness and newly acquired guilt, Ethan surprisingly feels alright. He was expecting a bad hang-over, and he is completely headache-free. Though the night of sleeplessness was dreadful, Ethan recalls the feeling he experienced at the party. He remembers the vibe he was getting from the brown-haired girl. He wonders if he will see her again.
Ethan hears Diane and Cindy leave out the front door. He tries to shut his eyes one last time, but it is hopeless. Ethan gets out of bed, grabs a few clothes, and heads towards the bathroom for a shower.
By the time Ethan is fully dressed and ready for a new day, it is 11:23 a.m. He begins pacing throughout his kitchen. His body feels anxious, but he doesn’t know what for. He walks back and forth in the same line for no apparent reason. All he can think about is last night. Last night was good; even better than Skyler’s party. Ethan is glad he didn’t go home with TJ. He would’ve missed out on the good night.
After five minutes of pacing… Ethan realizes something.
The night was lame until he tried cocaine.
After a few moments of internal debate, Ethan decides to call Jared.
Two rings, then, “Ethan, bud, how’s it going?”
“Hey Jared, I’m alright. How’s Gordon holding up?”
“He’s alright, he had a pretty severe concussion. No broken bones though.”
“Well that’s definitely good news.”
“Yeah.”
“Say there, Jared… I was wondering if you happen to have more coke.”
A slight pause.
“Yeah I do. Why?”
Another slight pause.
“Well maybe we could hang out later and have some of it.”
“I would, man… but I promised Gordon I’d go in and visit him later on this afternoon.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Yeah. But I can sell you what I have on me if you want.”
Ethan considers this.
“I don’t really have much money,” Ethan says.
A slight pause.
“You know what, this one’s on me. I’ll be over in a couple minutes to drop it off.”
“Thanks bro.”
“Not a problem.”
Ethan's suddenly remembers that Jared only drank one beer last night before he got the call from his mom. At first, this bothers him, but then he ignores it.
“See you in a bit.”
“Later.”
Ethan sits on a chair waiting impatiently. Twelve long minutes later the doorbell rings.
Ethan looks through the peep-hole to confirm it is Jared. He opens the door.
A cold breeze blows inside the entry-way, Ethan notices the trees in the front yard swaying in the wind.
“Here you go man,” Jared says passing him the baggie of coke.
Ethan takes it and puts it in is pocket.
“Thanks again, Winston. I appreciate this.”
Jared takes a good look at Ethan.
“Just make sure you don’t get hooked, alright buddy? Basketball season is right around the corner and if Coach Fox finds out you’re doing cocaine, you’ll be kicked off the team.”
Ethan nods, knowing full-well when basketball begins.
“Don’t worry, man… there’s just been a lot of shit going on in my life lately and I need a temporary escape from it all. Once basketball starts up, everything’s going to get back on track. What’s left in this baggie is probably the last cocaine I’ll ever snort in my life.”
Jared nods as if it makes sense.
“That’s the same with me man, I’m done with this stuff as soon as basketball starts up,” Jared says convincingly. “But still, we can’t tell anyone that we’ve been doing this shit, even if it wasn’t during basketball season. Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”
Ethan’s response is instantaneous.
“Of course not, man. I’m not telling anyone about this.”
Jared smiles, looking relieved.
“OK good… as long as we’re on the same page.”
With that said, the two give each other a handshake/hug, and Jared takes off.
Ethan walks into the kitchen and looks at the clock that reads 11:58 a.m. Church ends at noon, but usually the Tate family visits with others in the foyer. Ethan determines that he probably has a half-hour before his mother and sister get home. He pulls out the baggie and pours about a quarter of the bag onto the kitchen table. With a guitar pick from his room, Ethan separates the pile into three lines. He then takes a straw from the kitchen, cuts it down into a third of its size and then snorts the three lines. After snorting the last line, Ethan cringes at the burning sensation. He runs into the bathroom and notices that his nose is bleeding. He sticks a Kleenex in his nose, and then begins to panic. Diane and Cindy will be home before long. Ethan is shaking with paranoia. He runs back into the kitchen. He picks up the baggie of cocaine. He runs to his bedroom. He hides the coke inside of a small box with a combination lock on it. He then takes that box and stuffs it into the back of his sock drawer. After this, he runs back into the kitchen and takes a washcloth out of the cabinet. He wets it and pours a bit of dish-soap on it. He then hurries over to the kitchen table, and repeatedly wipes down the kitchen table surface where he snorted the coke. After this, he rinses out the washcloth, and then throws it in the laundry. Next, he takes the straw that he used to snort the cocaine, and he throws it in the garbage. He also throws the guitar pick in the garbage. He runs back to the bathroom and checks on his nose. He replaces the bloody Kleenex with a new one. He then throws the bloody Kleenex in the garbage. He tries to remember if he has forgotten about anything else he used, which his mother could trace to find the cocaine. His mind is racing. He remembers that it is tradition to make grilled cheese on Sunday. He runs back into the kitchen and looks at the clock: 12:17 p.m. He assumes that he has enough time to make the grilled cheese before his mother and sister return. He gets out the ingredients and the pan to cook on, but his progress is hindered when the front door opens.
“Hey, Ethan,” Cindy says as she walks through the door. “Are you feeling better?”
Ethan takes one last look on the kitchen table to make sure that he hasn't left any evidence behind.
“Hey, Cindy,” Ethan replies quickly. “I am feeling better… I was just a little tired this morning.”
His sister smiles then goes to her room.
A few seconds later, Diane walks through the door.
“Hi Ethan,” she says.
“Hey mom,” he replies.
Ethan’s blood is pumping rapidly. Diane and Cindy are so calm and he feels like his body is visibly shaking. He tries to act as normal as possible, but for all he knows, his mom will be able to tell and he will get busted.
Diane walks into the kitchen and faces him.
“Now listen, Ethan, this morn—”
Ethan cuts her off.
“I’m sorry about this morning mom. I know I was being grumpy, and I won’t be like that anymore. I’ll go to church next Sunday.”
Diane watches her son as he says this. She then looks down. Then back up at him.
“That’s good to know, Ethan, but I still think we should go to my room and have a talk.”
Ethan is stunned by this response. He wonders if she knows about the cocaine. But how could she know?
“Is that really necessary mom?” Ethan asks, in a slightly raised voice. “I said I was sorry and that I would come to church. What else do you want from me?”
Diane replies, “Just come to my room, we will discuss this there.”
“There’s nothing to discuss,” Ethan says.
Diane glares at Ethan.
“Right now, Ethan,” Diane demands.
Ethan stares at his mom. His already high blood pressure has been accelerated with a surge of adrenaline.
“Holy shit,” Ethan says under his breath as he stomps down the hall and into her bedroom.
Once Ethan gets there, he sits on his mom’s bed and folds his arms, waiting to see what disciplinary action she chooses. The wait is not long—Diane enters the room shortly after.
“What is going on with you, Ethan?” Diane asks. “You and Liberty broke up and you didn’t say a word about what happened. You’re hanging out with Jared, and then skipping church the next day. Now you’re swearing in my house? I want an explanation.”
Ethan stares at his mother. His hands are clenched into fists. His arms begin to shake.
He remains silent.
Diane raises her voice, “Answer me!”
“I don’t know mom, it’s called being a teenager I guess,” Ethan finally responds with a nonchalant tone of voice.
Diane stares back at her son.
A short period of time passes and the room is quiet.
“Fine then, Ethan. I don’t think you’re telling me everything, so until you do, or until your attitude takes a 180-degree turn, you are grounded indefinitely. This will include missing basketball tryouts if you haven’t smartened up by then.”
Ethan glares at his mother, an intimidating look in his eyes.
“You can’t do that,” he says, urgency in his voice.
Diane smiles back, an equally intimidating look in her eyes.
“Watch me.”
Diane turns and begins to leave the room.
“Maybe I don’t tell you certain things because it’s none of your damn business!” Ethan yells at his mother.
Diane stops in her tracks. Angered, she turns to face Ethan.
“Keep pushing your luck Ethan, you’ll never leave this house again!” Diane yells back.
“Good, maybe then I won’t have to listen to any more of your bullshit!”
Ethan continues to glare at his mother.
Diane—whose face has become red with frustration—shakes her head as she looks at her son. She is confused.
“What’s happened to you, Ethan? You’re not yourself these days. I don’t understand what’s going on,” Diane explains, no longer yelling.
Ethan’s folded arms now drop to his side. His facial expression makes him seem as though he is indifferent to the whole conversation. He looks down before he responds.
“Well maybe dad would understand me.”
Even in his chemically-altered state, Ethan instantly regrets saying the words as soon as they leave his mouth. Never before has he used his father as a weapon to attack his mom.
His mother’s face tells the story. She looks at Ethan with eyes full of pain. They instantly begin to water and the tears fall down her cheeks. She shakes her head as Ethan stands still with nothing to say for himself. She can’t even bare to look into her son's eyes any longer. She looks away, and almost in a whisper, she softly says, “Get out of my room.”

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17