The Popular Depression is a book I wrote in my first year of college.

It was inspired by a cigarette pack on a coffee table that I noticed at a house party.

My eyes were drawn to the Health Canada warning on the box of cigarettes.

I think the statistic about tobacco-related deaths was supposed to be the scary one. But, for some reason, I was more alarmed by the fact more people died by killing themselves than by getting into car accidents.

I never did anything with the book I wrote. Looking back, some of the amateurish writing makes me cringe. But, the concept behind The Popular Depression is an important theme for us to think about.

Here is the nineteenth and twentieth chapters from The Popular Depression.

Chapter 19

Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.
Ethan can’t remember where he heard it, but the James Dean quote has been stuck in his head a lot over the last week.
And he didn’t finish the cocaine; he threw it into a dumpster in some alley.
And he apologized to his mother. He even told her, “Things are rough right now… but everything will be alright.”
And after he hugged Diane, she said, “You mean the world to me.”
And a week ago, he told Jared that he was officially done with drugs.
And the withdrawals have been bad, but he heard that they eventually go away.
And he hasn’t even thought about the brown-haired girl for the last two weeks.
And he got 94 per cent on an English paper.
And he heard someone say, "the pen is mightier than the sword."
And he heard someone else explain that life has no opposite… death is the opposite of birth, not life.
And he considered applying to the University of Calgary.
And he looked through last year’s yearbook and tried to memorize names.
And he wrote in a journal, confessing everything he was going through.
And he listened to less Alexisonfire and more City and Colour.
And he dusted off a bible he had been given when he was eight years old, and began reading it… a chapter of 1 Samuel every night.
And he heard that some junior has a grudge against him… but he doesn’t know why.
And the first signs of snow hit Lethbridge Friday night. A thick blanket covered the asphalt.
And yesterday, he took his little sister sledding at a park near their house.
And he went to church today, saw Liberty, and smiled at her.

And now… lying in his bed… his focus is on one thing: basketball. Tryouts are tomorrow and things are finally looking up. He feels bad about his brief experimentation with drugs; however, he is done with them now. He wonders how long it will take him to get into shape for this season. He wonders if he will be captain again. He wonders if the Cougars have a chance to win provincials. He turns out his light and closes his eyes.

Chapter 20

The Weather Channel’s prediction of a -10 degree Celsius low is milder than what it feels like. Ethan shivers as a cold wind blows in his face. He walks toward his high school.
Tonight is the night. The first tryouts. But more importantly than that… tonight is the start of Ethan’s last basketball season as a Cougar.
For Ethan, attending tryouts is more of a formality than anything. He knows that he will be on the team; he has been since he was in the 10th grade. But this year, a solid tryout will mean a second straight season as captain. Ethan wants the position badly; however, he knows he will have competition. Last year it was a dogfight to be picked over Jared Winston. This year, Ethan has the disadvantage as Jared spent all summer training. Ethan was too busy spending time with Liberty.
Ethan opens the front doors of CCH. He walks a couple feet, and then hangs a quick right. There are already about 30 hopefuls warming up in the gym. Of those in the gym, approximately eight are returning players. Ethan is surprised at the turnout… especially because he is 10 minutes early and even more players are bound to arrive.
Ethan walks through the gym toward the locker room with his sports bag hung over his shoulder. As he passes by those who are trying out, he notices that all eyes are on him.
As he is about to enter the change room, Coach Fox yells at him to stop. Ethan turns around and looks.
“Ethan… before you get changed, will you come with me?”
Ethan gives a nod and walks toward his coach who is standing at the gym entrance.
He assumes that Coach Fox wants to make sure Ethan is aware of his leadership role on this year’s team. There is no doubt that Catholic Central will be a contender for another provincial banner and Ethan will have a big role to play in that.
“What’s up, coach?” Ethan asks.
Coach Fox stands still, pained, with a look that foreshadows bad news to come. He then puts his arm around Ethan and says, “Come with me, son.”
Ethan is confused at what’s wrong as he follows his coach down the hallways of CCH. The route is familiar, but Ethan doesn’t predict what's about to happen.
“So did you have a good summer,” Ethan asks, trying to break the silent tension that looms.
Coach Fox does not respond.
As the two approach the area where Ethan’s locker is, Coach Fox slows down. Ethan wonders where this is going.
“Now listen Ethan… I hate to do this, but we had a report, from an anonymous source, that said you were currently hooked on, and in possession of, an illegal substance. What you do on your own time, outside of basketball season, is your own decision; however, if at any point during the season, starting today, you are caught with a banned substance, then the school has no choice but to kick you off of the team for the season. I know you’re a good kid Ethan, that’s why I hate accusing you like this. You’re smart and I truly believe that this whole thing is just a big mix-up. Regardless, the report came to the school’s office on Friday, and I am required to search your locker to verify whether or not you are breaking policy.”
After he is done speaking, Coach Fox stares at Ethan almost apologetically. He is sure that Ethan knows the team’s drug policy, and Coach Fox is confident that Ethan wouldn’t be stupid enough to experiment with drugs in the first place.
As Ethan stares back at his coach, he is taken slightly off-guard. The only person who knew about him doing drugs was Jared Winston. Ethan is certain that Jared wouldn’t rat him out because Jared knows how vital Ethan is to the Cougars' success. Ethan was the top scorer in the South Zone last year, and he was MVP of his basketball team. Ethan doesn’t keep drugs in his locker, and even if he did, Jared doesn’t know that. And if Jared wanted the spotlight so bad that he was willing to go to such great lengths to get Ethan kicked off the team, he couldn’t, because with a snap of Ethan’s finger, he could rat Jared out too.
Though he is shaken by the situation, Ethan knows his locker doesn't have drugs in it. Without much hesitation he responds to his coach.
“I understand, sir.”
Coach Fox nods back. Then, as he comes slightly closer to Ethan, he whispers, “There’s not going to be any surprises… are there, son?”
With eyes that look confidently right back at his coach, Ethan gives a convincing, “No.”
“Very well then,” Ethan’s coach says as he signals for Ethan to open his locker.
Ethan undoes the combination lock and removes it. He then watches as his coach opens his locker and searches. Ethan senses that his coach feels badly about carrying out the task, even though he is just following orders.
After taking a brief look, no drugs are found. Coach Fox seems satisfied.
“Well, Ethan, this is looking like a big misunderstanding. I’m very sorry I had to put you through this,” Coach Fox apologizes.
“Not a problem,” Ethan replies without hesitation.
Just before Coach Fox is about to close the locker, he notices something on the top shelf.
“I should just take a quick look in this pencil case up here,” he decides out loud.
Ethan watches as Coach Fox grabs the Buffalo pencil case and unzips it. He shuffles through a few pencils and erasers, and then turns to Ethan and smiles.
“Alright… now we’re done.”
Coach Fox zips the pencil case back up and tosses it back on the top shelf. The force from the pencil case hitting the shelf causes something to fall from the roof of Ethan’s locker. Coach Fox notices this, and instantly reaches up to retrieve the object. A small baggie full of white powder, which was loosely taped to the locker’s roof, appears. Coach Fox's previous smile is now a concerned frown.
Ethan watches as his coach holds the baggie. Ethan is confused. The baggie doesn’t belong to him. How did it get there? How long has it been there? Why hasn’t he ever noticed it?
The head coach of the Cougars stares at the baggie he holds in disbelief. He is shocked that such a promising basketball player, and very smart individual, would make such a colossal error in judgment. He slowly looks up at Ethan. His eyes squint slightly and show extreme disappointment.
Seeing his coach’s eyes knocks the wind out of Ethan. The senior at CCH is astounded with what has just happened. He looks at the lock he holds in his hand. It hasn’t been tampered with. Nothing makes sense. Jared was the only one who knew about the drugs, but even if he wanted to screw Ethan over, he doesn’t know Ethan’s locker combination. Ethan remembers the party he went to. He recalls doing lines of cocaine in front of everyone. But nobody at that party would have the brain capacity to pull off a scandal this big.
Finally, after a long silence, Coach Fox finds it in himself to speak.
“I don’t know what this is about, Ethan, but you just ruined your chance of being a part of this team,” Coach Fox says. “I’m sorry.”
Ethan stands in front of his former coach. He is speechless. He is being blamed for a crime that he did not commit. Everything that is important to him… everything that was good in his life has come crashing down. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what words can fix the situation. No one will believe him. He has nothing.
“I will talk to the school tomorrow… expect a four-day suspension at least. If the school finds any more drugs in your possession, at any point in the year… you will definitely face expulsion.”
Coach Fox notices Ethan standing motionless with his head hung. He wonders why such a young talent would be involved with something so detrimental. He is truly as shocked as Ethan.
“You’re better than this, son… I hope you realize it. If you clean yourself up, there will be a spot for you on our club team in the spring,” Coach Fox concludes as he pats Ethan on the back, and walks back down the hall toward the gym.
Ethan watches his now former coach march down the hallway, turn the corner, and then disappear. Ethan pinches his left arm with his right thumb and index finger. He feels pain… it isn’t a dream.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18