British Stereotypes in Films That Totally Annoy Me

Hey all or should I say 'Wotcha'

It's been a while since I made a blog post and I feel kinda bad about it because I want to try and use Hive more frequently. It's just a lot of stuff has been happening in my life recently and I haven't really been focused on writing much. It's all good though and one of those distractions involved going to London to have a nice weekend away and explore the city. It's been over 2 years since I visited London despite being located in the South of England and the city being virtually on my doorstop.
Whilst in London, I couldn't help but reflect on how many things that American films get wrong about the city and about British people. I must admit I do like playing up my 'British accent' when I'm talking to my American friends and I think many of them believe that I live in the countryside and spend all my day drinking tea and eating cucumber sandwiches. I wish that was the case, but in fact I spend most of my day drinking diet coke and looking at memes whilst eating skittles in my tiny room in a shared flat...
Anyway, I thought I would write a quick little post about some British stereotypes that appear frequently in films which annoy the shit out of me. Without any further ado...please enjoy :)

• What's up with all the villains in films having an English accent?
  Look, I get it. We were your enemies like 200 or so years ago. Sorry, we were dicks to you and tried to tax your asses to high heaven. But, you guys did it. You got your independence. Since the American revolution, we've worked together to win two world wars. Aren't we even now?

• British teeth be bad, ha ha
  Yeah, okay I'll let you have this. Our teeth are pretty bad. But, I've seen pictures of your "Mountain Dew Mouth" peeps...So, don't even @ me with your shit about our teeth.

• We all love the Royal Family
  Nah, trust me...We don't all love those guys. I personally don't understand the weird obsession that American's have about the British Royal Family. You literally fought for your independence so you didn't have to be ruled by them. What is this, some kind of weird Stockholm syndrome stuff?

• We all drink tea and nothing else
  I love a good cuppa but I also love coffee, especially a Flat White. I recently introduced an American to the wonders of a Flat White coffee...He hadn't even heard of it, so I am technically more knowledgeable about coffee then an American.

• We're extremely polite
  Fuck off. There is that 'polite' enough for you?

• Our food is terrible
  Umm, hello? Apparently, American's have deep fried pickles. DEEP FRIED PICKLES. That's all kinds of wrong, but I'm not going to lie, I really want to eat one...

• We lack emotion
  It's just our way of surviving, the whole "Keep Calm and Carry On" approach that we adopted during the Second World War. Yes, sometimes we can go around with a stiff top lip but as a country we can be extremely emotional. Please refer to the death of Princess Diana, any international torments involving soccer/cricket/rugby, and when we experience a heatwave.

• Our dry sense of humour
  On behalf of all British people I apologise for the fact that we're just funnier than the rest of the world. Honestly, most British humour nowadays is pretty crap...Have you ever seen anything that BBC 3 is currently churning out? Well, trust me...It's best avoiding that rubbish.

• All we talk about is the weather
  Not true, topics of conversation also include the following: what happened last time we went to the pub, when we're next going to the pub, what we're going to drink whilst at the pub, and also what snacks to get at the pub (usually a packet of McCoy's Cheddar and Onion crisps and/or a pickled egg). Other topics may include: anything related to Brexit, anything related to soccer, anything related to a popular TV show airing at the time (usually "Great British Bake Off" or "Strictly Come Dancing), anything related to taking the piss out of politicians and moaning about how public transport and the roads are getting worse.

Anyway, just thought I would have a bit of fun and write something silly. I am working on a few other reviews and articles which I hope to get up on here this weekend once I get some more spare time. I hope I haven't offended too many people with this post, it's all just a bit of fun.

Now, I'm off to have afternoon tea with the Queen, Kate Winslet and Dame Judi Dench. Tally ho chaps.