Most of you who are wondering what I mean by restarting my fitness journey, it is simply a reality check that made me realize that I have lost track of my health & a conscious decision to get back to a healthier life.
You might also be wondering what was the reality check ? To be honest, it was right in my face since the last 3 months and I didn’t notice. I couldn’t climb 4 floors without panting and would go breathless by the end of it. I didn’t care what kind of food I was eating or how many glasses of wine I gulped, you know what I am talking about..!! Gradually as days passed by I saw what I did to myself, as I looked in the mirror I realized I threw away all the hard work that I spent at the gym working out & eating clean. I realized how easily I would get tired these days, whereas few months back I was like an energizer bunny.
To all the women who have stood in front of the mirror and realized how we forgot to take care of ourselves while running around handling shit that comes our way, I feel you sisters...! In this bargain we missed out on making time for ourselves, to feel good.. to look good… to smile.. to giggle.. to take a walk listening to your favorite music.. to eat food that keeps you healthy…. to do all the things that you should, to live longer, healthier & a fuller life.
To those who do not know how far I had come in my fitness journey till I hit the wall few months back, here’s a background. I have always been a bit plump (lack of a better word), since my childhood I have always been a healthy kid who’s been bigger than the rest of the kids in school & everywhere else! It always bothered me, my teachers wouldn’t let me participate in some of the school’s annual day activities because I was fat & I wouldn’t look good among the thinner kids. I remember once I was removed from the annual day dance group because I was fat, not my words they are my teacher’s words.
I lived through those embarrassing school days & moved on to my college life, I managed to lose a few pounds when I decided to become a vegetarian. To be honest, initially it wasn’t difficult to be a vegetarian & I managed pretty well for almost 3 years. Then I missed my chicken too much to stay away from it & got back on my non-veg diet (basically just chicken & eggs, I can’t stand any other meat). As years went by I managed to keep my weight from going beyond 58 kgs, but good things don’t last forever. In 2010 I started gaining weight due to depression & stress which was caused due to a lot of issues in my personal life (details about this personal problem.. I might discuss in some other post.. not now).
You know how it goes when you are depressed & you starting putting on kgs and you really don’t want to do anything about it, which lead me to weigh a total of 85 kgs by the end of 2011. I tried working out a bit, but the weighing scale wouldn’t budge. I gave up, I was too emotionally and physically exhausted to put too much hard work into it & decided to live with it.
You know when you think there’s nothing worse that can happen after all the shit that you have already been through… that’s where we are wrong. Atleast for me it did, my life turned upside down the beginning of 2012. Everything I believed in, everything I trusted, everything I hoped for was ripped away, even my life was almost not mine anymore for the briefest moment.
That was the moment I realized that there will be nothing more important than me, it was more like a decision.. I will always keep myself the number 1 priority for the rest of my life. Everything else can come & go for all I care.
You know how all interesting stories starts with a shattering reality check, that is exactly what it took for me to take a look at myself in the mirror & realize it’s time to change myself. It all began in the month of March 2012, where I finally decided to eat clean & start doing some workouts at home. I got so engrossed and strict about my workouts & diet, that within 3 months I lost 30 kgs. So basically from 85 kgs to 55 kgs (also due to the stress that was going on in my personal life, not a good thing..!).
It wasn’t difficult to maintain it for a while, basically I continued doing what I did earlier & felt more energetic, positive & fit. I’m sure most of you know the feeling, when you wear a nice outfit and it feels so awesome because your body feels so fit and you feel more confidence radiating when you see your reflection in the mirror. Also the job I was doing during 2012-2016 needed a lot of interaction with people & had to be presentable at all times, which also helped me stick to this healthy lifestyle.
I joined the gym between all this chaos & became a gym/fitness addict. Most of you who know me might have noticed all the annoying fitness updates, tweets on how to stay healthy, workout options, workout pics & videos of me doing all my stunts (I still love doing that though :P ). In my defense, I did all that for a simple reason & that was to help people be more aware of the importance of staying fit. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean being thin is fit & starving to achieve it is a big no no for me. Being strong, amazing stamina & being healthy is the definition of FIT for me & always will be.
June 2016 was the beginning of all the annoying & patience testing time for me & it still continues to be so. My shoulder issues, nerve damages, hairline fractures & so on got the best of me. My never ending visits to orthopedics, physiotherapist & acupuncturist took up all my time & energy. All this while regretting & hating the fact that I am not physically capable of working out due to all these problems.
Since I couldn’t workout, I gradually lost interest in keeping up with my healthy diet due to all the constrains on the types of food I cannot have because I was informed I have a weak stomach. I started eating things that was assigned by my doctors, but it didn’t take long for me to give up & start eating all the junk food and greasy food.
You know how you let loose when you are on a vacation right? That is exactly what I did when I went for my vacation to Europe. I ate everything from cheese, pizza, croissants, every kind of sweets possible & drank wine like water (I don’t regret it, it was fun ! :P ). Little did it cross my mind the after effects of it once I am back home, the nerve issues that were almost gone were back again, the shoulder pain that would make me cry was back & more than anything else I was constantly tired and felt disgusting inside & out.
It was 2 weeks since my return from my vacation, I have never felt so tired and lethargic. While getting ready to go to work one morning, I stood in front of the mirror & it was like a slap across my face to see what I saw in the mirror. I looked so unhappy, unfit, sloppy & I realized I stopped wanting to look good for myself. I let go of myself while handling a job I hate, a boss who I can’t stand for more than 5 mins & a life that had become boring and lifeless. I was pissed, because I let it all happen.
You know that feeling you get sometimes, when you want to slap yourself for being stupid & let somethings and some people keep you from doing things you love. I had the same exact feeling in that moment & wanted to slap some sense into myself for being so stupid. I decided in that very moment that it was the last day I let people & things stop me from doing what makes me happy.
It was time to make some changes in my life. I am going to make time for myself and my friends and do all the things that keep my & my soul happy. One of the biggest change I needed was to get back on my fitness routine & the very next day I reached my gym to renew my membership & prepped myself to continue what I started back in 2012 i.e. a healthier & happier life for me.
You know you cannot do this alone, this journey is difficult without the help of your closest friends and loved ones. My friends have been given a crash course on being a part of this journey & to help me achieve my goals, while hoping that they choose to stay fit along with me.
My fitness journey is back on track & I plan to stay on it for as long as I physically can.
Let’s do this..!!!