UGH... I just got back from the club. It's -15 degrees here people. I walk into the club and the band asks me if I would mind if they played one of my songs that I wrote. I have to admit I was intrigued. They played my song and fuckin' killed it. The room went nuts. I sang along!
A couple hookers asked if i would take them back to my place. I was DTF.
I brought the hookers home and offered them a Pabst Blue Ribbon. The hooker on the left asked if I knew the Earth was flat? I said WTF. Then she proceeded to cram my brain with Flat Earth theory. I had no argument. These sluts knew their stuff. I am now convinced the Earth is Flat. NASA is a fake joke played on all of us. You've seen the movie "Gravity" with Shithead Clooney and that ugly girl, Sandra Bullocks. Look how easy it is to fake space.
The International Space Station is a joke. It's all fake. These hookers changed my life. I can't believe how deceived I've been. Think about it. If I gave you 50 Million Dollars EVERY DAY (NASA's real life budget) to fake space, could you? FUCK YOU NASA! No, seriously, FUCK YOU NASA! Anybody that likes NASA is a ZOMBIE BITCH.
The hookers S'd my D for a few minutes and then we watched Jeranism live on YouTube the rest of the night and they didn't charge me for the BJ. I just paid for their Uber.
I will never forget those hookers. Very classy.