About Thursday Night
New Orleans heads down to Atlanta who will be in full-blown desperation mode. I hate putting money on these kind of games. New Orleans just came off a big win, smacking around Cam Newton and the Panthers and Atlanta is playing for their proverbial playoff lives. Furthermore, it’s a Thursday Night game – which sucks. I expect the game to be close. Probably lower points than everyone is expecting.
New Orleans 23-17
About those week 13 picks – The good, the bad and the participation trophy worthy.
The Good
My Hot Shot call of the week was right on. Patriots dismantled the Bills. These kind of picks I’m always torn on, you know what I’m talking about, the one where you take the easy money but you hate the team. I love watching the Patriots lose, I want the Bills to be good and I love winning money. Which is the best? Of course the money. Shame on you, 
Which leads me to the bad.
The Bad
The Pittsburgh Steelers chap my ass. I hate the Steelers, but I put money on them. I know this was a must win for the Bengals, but they are the Bengals. Well, the Steelers decided not to play the first half, then when by a field goal. Killing me on the spread. Yeah, I’m bitter.
It gets worse, friends. It gets worse.
The Participation Trophy Worthy
Well, let’s face it – after blowing my “Forget that last beer bet of the week” pick last week, I sit here with less money AND less beer ingested. Take it one of two ways:
- It’s healthier. Losers make excuses and that is a bad excuse.
OR - Realize, I fuckin’ blew it dude.
Let’s Recap: I said it was worth picking the Colts to win outright over the Jags. I still stand by it, minus I forgot Brissett loves getting drilled at least 15 times a game. Bortles closes his eyes and gets lucky sometimes and you know, the colts are just pretty bad.
I have a friend in Arkansas, not born and raised but there now and loves it.
We often make bets with each other. I love the guy, he’s funny and the life of the party. A real Rob Gronkowski, if you will. I am not tooting my horn or saying I’m some Neil Degrasse, or astrophysicist, I ain’t. But it drives me crazy when he rails on my picks calling me an idiot when his IQ probably wouldn’t heat a room in the winter. Anyway, he was going on and on about me and how stupid of a bet this was.
Sad because he was right, and the Colts let me down when I was merely wishing them the best I quoted Othello:
“Men in rage strike those that wish them best.”
“Don’t even bring that Shakespeare garbage up around me, dude.”
“What’s wrong with Shakespeare?”
“I wouldn’t have been into watching fairy boys kissin’ on stage back then and I certainly ain’t into it now.”
Then I thought, is this guy joking? His favorite team is the Patriots. And he knew it was Shakespeare, so uh, takes one to know one. Teehee.
What looked like was going to be a great week was a winner, but sadly not a big win as my last minute Pittsburgh bet was a complete flop.
Onward and Upward – To week 14 we go!
The Hot Shot Call of the Week – SEAHAWKS OVER THE JAGUARS, 20-13
The last time I had this much confidence in a pick was prom. My friend went with, will call her Stacey, the rebellious catholic with daddy issues, everyone knew what was about to go down. Celebratory high-fives were given out all around. But then the injury bug struck, which brings me to this weeks picks
1st Quarter – Home Team with the easy opening drive. Passes the same sorry note that is scripted every game and everyone knew was coming. No matter, she accepted. Touchdown.
Away team follows with a three and out. Classic out of the gate attempt at behind the back trick play. Like a fake punt, in this case it was an invitation to go camping afteword. Busch beer, tents and freezing weather. Oh gee, why didn’t she accept? Home team capitalizes on the next drive. Prom date mentions she wants to drink and has a hotel room booked. Suddenly, a snowball of terror in your favor. Hometeam is leading 21-0 at the half.
Things were going so well, but then early in the third quarter (our friend) the quarterback gets concussed. He’s done. But this is life – there is no back up. Just memories of what could have been.
Don’t get hurt Russell.
Beer Money Bet of the Week.
I’ve completely lost it. I'm going crazy! My 5 dollar bet this week isn’t even on football. It’s on soccer. Ok, some of you may say well soccer is actually football. Calm down, you can go argue that over tea somehwere else.
But I can actually picture my father sitting at my bedside shaking his head.
"Take him off life support, nurse. He's officially braindead."
A man once opposed do "death with dignity" now completely supports it.
I’ve put 5 down on the Seattle Sounders FC. Who?! You know,
Anyway, 5 dollar money line could net you $15.50. So, why not?