- “Once we are honest about our feelings, we can invite ourselves to consider alternative modes of viewing our pain and can see that releasing our grip on anger and resentment can actually be an act of self-compassion.”*
― Sharon Salzberg, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
A dear friend of mine is suffering from COVID19, but even worse, her father with whom she's had a falling out with, recently passed away from the same COVID that he gave to her. She asked me recently,
"What am I supposed to do with this anger?"
"That's a difficult question to answer." I replied. It differs for everyone.
Her father knowingly had the symptoms of COVID19, but continued to preach at his local church, giving this disease to the congregation, including his daughter. Now she is understandably angry. She continued to be angry at him until his sudden death. Now there is no proper reconciliation, only the knowledge that she carries bitterness and resentfulness to his grave.
This I do know. Her father loves her dearly. She also loves her father. He had foolishly done many selfish things in the past, yet people forgave him. Maybe undeservedly, but as he continued to preach the forgiveness of Christ, he brought many people to forgive others and themselves for past transgressions.
I personally struggle with the concept of forgiveness. I feel as though I can live a perfectly peaceful life knowing some people don't deserve forgiveness. Even if they die, if they've never sought reconciliation...it's not my responsibility to forgive them.