Fraternities have come under wide-scale scrutiny. The majority of the problems stem from hazing deaths and sexual assault cases. While these unfortunate events do occur at fraternities, they are not as widespread as the media portrays it to be. Here are some positives about fraternities and why I joined one.
Personal Development
The main goal of a fraternity is to develop the members into better men. It strives to create the ideal gentleman, that is cultured and respectful to all. Doing this takes some time because usually, not all freshman are interested in becoming a gentleman. They just want to party and have a good time, but doesn't everyone in college want that? The pledge process teaches a lot to the prospective members, the most important lesson that I learned was that life is not fair. Learning this made me look at the world in a different way. It helped me understand that some things are out of my control and that is okay.
Social Skills
I know when I first got to college I knew very little about the importance of having social skills. I just thought to myself that everyone would like me. This was not true. I learned that I need to work on them and was forced to learn them throughout the pledge process. The most important social skill that I learned was the handshake. A firm grip and a direct look into the eyes of the other man was essential. We practiced it day in and day out. Next, our pledge masters emphasized how to treat women. Respect was always shown to the opposite sex and if not there were always consequences. The last thing that I took away was body language. Before I would often not stand straight, not make eye contact, and not have any friends. After learning those skills doors started opening up for me.
Alumni Network
I didn't realize how important networking was until I was initiated. After looking for an internship for some time without any luck I was confused. I had a great GPA and was involved in college, but no one would ever get back to me. Then I reached out to a recent graduate that had been in my chapter. Asked him if there were any opportunities he knew of. Now I have a job. They usually don't teach you this in school but it really is all about who you know and the relationships you create.
Brotherhood
When I was asked during rush what I wanted out of a fraternity I always said brotherhood. In reality, I just wanted to get fucked up and have sex with as many consenting girls as possible. But after being a brother for multiple years I learned that brotherhood was truly what I was after. Brotherhood is not about talk or good intentions, it's about having the ability to sacrificee for the man to your left and to your right. It is not asking questions when a brother is in need. It is being there for a brother when their mother committed suicide. It is a bond that will never be broke. That is what being a fraternity man is all about. That is what separates us from all others.