Walking thru life without the lights on is like another episode in the game of thrones, continually attracting one drama after the other. Yes, drama hooks can be so addictive, from one episode to the next...especially when I believe it to be real. Of course there are many battles until the final episode, waking up.
Ever wondered if it is about realizing that God isn't punishing me or failing to answer my prayers? It's just life happening and essentially it is useful to remember that I live in a benign universe designed for experiential, archetypal learning in 3D. Yes, at times the lessons may repeat themselves... until they don't. Lesson learned ... and I wonder how many times you have seen it happening in your life.
And I learned to deal with ego and it's attachment to the matrix of the Maya with it's innumerable faces. Facing extreme situations I learned that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of me and poison the universe that surrounds me. Of course you too may wonder how many more or less extreme life changing situations you have had? and what was it that changed your perceptions, fundamentally?
...wait a minute...
Yet , there are times it may SEEM like there is no way out of suffering. It may SEEM that you are, indeed, broken and at fault. That you are to blame for everything "bad" that's happening in your life.
But of course, you're not.
Because what's really happening inside you is NOT that you're flawed in some way, but that there's something inside you that's trying to break free. I am sure you have seen that many times happening.
What's trying to break free is something that you haven't been able to acknowledge or recognise. But once you do acknowledge and recognise it, everything will change for you.
In time you will find your way out of the prison of despair you've created.
And you will finally be able to have the peace of mind you've been longing for your entire life or perhaps just recently.
and then again...
Some of my experiences confronted me with my shadow ... which rarely is sexy. Looking at my shadow I came to appreciate the power of gratitude in the face of “No”… when the gods have other plans.
Slowly, I begin to take responsibility for me by myself and I make myself a promise to never betray myself and to never ever settle for less than my heart's desire. And I hang a wind chime outside my window so I can listen to the wind and remember what is needed...and to take comfort in many of the simple things I take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
And I make it a point to keep smiling in this church of perpetual astonishment , to trust and to stay curious how the universe unfolds moment to moment ... With courage in my heart and trusting in a fundamentally friendly universe by my side I take a stand, I take a deep breath and I begin to design the life I want to live as best as I can just as you may wonder how true that is for you.
...building bridges...
I learned to admit when I am wrong and the importance to build bridges instead of walls, which at times requires jumping over shadows, knowing what you can change, or coming to terms with what you can't change ...and to appreciate the difference.
Life has become even more of an adventure. An adventure like a journey of discovery as each moment by and in itself is there to reveal something new to me.
"We can escape the prison of our own beliefs and enter the Palace of Possibilities when we allow ourselves to be astonished by everything." Gary Craig
Looking back I can only say that wouldn’t it have been for the grace of the master, the infinite love, gratitude and wisdom experienced...this awakening most likely would have taken many more years, perhaps lifetimes to happen.
To be continued...