When you, like me, have been jumping around in this world for a while, you feel that you know exactly where you're going, and you always think you have a perfect understanding of everything. And when things change or other people have a different opinion, we surely know why, right! Of course. Nobody else has a clue and if they are unable to follow our ideas and thoughts people just can't think straight. It is never the other way round, only we fully understand how the wind blows. No self-doubt, our learning process is considered complete.
Recently I am sometimes no longer sure how the roles in my life are actually allocated. That goes especially for my little family.
Of course I always think I know what is best for my little daughter and what she can do and what she should not do. After all, I am already a few years older and many experiences wiser. At least I keep imagining the last one is true.
And that's exactly why I think it should be me who decides where to go. Which way to go and where not to go.
But fortunately, such a small child's head does not understand such things at all. How could she, if we can't even communicate in the same language yet? That will be on my head, I had many years time to learn the language of the one-year-olds, so why I had to choose the most eastern Asian language there is.
With that I can't score with my daughter at all, our communication takes place on a completely different level. It is much more intensive and personal, although we encounter problems of understanding. Well, it spices things up and makes everything even more interesting.
So when a child's little head does not understand things exactly what it should do or not, and especially why or why not, it fortunately begins to rebel. It would be bad if you just let someone, just because they are a bit taller, boss you around all the time. That's why we do you have our own will, which can and should be way bigger than ourselves!
In these moments the roles can quickly turn around. Of course. I could insist every time that I'm right and she has to follow and obey. A will can always be broken. But do I even want that?
Often it is much more exciting to see our little ones trying to force themselves through. Sure not without without failures and mishaps, but giving up is not an option at all. They already seem to have understood a key point in life, even at this age. Where people of my age have long since given up on many dream for a variety of reasons and would throw in the towel, our little ones make one attempt after the other, their own failures are often grownlingly commented and simply not accepted. If they had the right vocabulary at hand, or rather on their tongue, what would come out of that little mouth at those moments?
Of course, not every project of our kids will be crowned with succces. But even partial wins seem to leave a big impression, even for the more or less active observer.
As that kind of person, I am usually very close to the action, in order to avoid real accidents and thus greater screams. But I have to admit again that where there is a will more often than I thought there is actually that mentioned way we are looking for, which kids usually take without much hesitation.
Seeing this attitude full of courage but without any doubts is a very refreshing experience for me too. Why am I not like that anymore, why do I always consider the pros and cons first? And then often miss the best opportunities or even whole possibilities to reach my goal.
Of course, it is not always advisable to be hell-bent on getting one's own way. You really don't have to eat up that laminated business card completely , but just because Dad says that little rock is much too high for such a little girl, that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to climb it. And when you made it up to the top with daddy's help, didn't you prove the teacher wrong? It's not the "How we do things" that counts, but rather "whether we actually give it a try" .
I could always use a shot of healthy intuition and courage to remind myself, how things can be approached too, I hope I can remember that forever now.
And even if the way ahead won't look as comfortable as I would like it to, that doesn't mean that it's not the right way for me to walk on. So I will just grab that little hand and let myself be guided. Maybe it's the path to the next adventure, or just into the next puddle. Wherever we end up, as long as I'm surrounded by kids laughter I'm sure that I am on the right track.
And even if we get lost together, I can't think of any better place to be.
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