Yeah...

If I'm being honest, most of my creative process is to generate as much as I can while keeping an eye out for language. I only go back and edit occasionally. This was one of the sections I went back and edited because I was uncomfortable with how it came out, but I only worsened it.

I was thinking about expanding on this for a short story though, so keep your eyes peeled. There may be something crafted just a bit better.

(And I guess there could be older scripture, but what I had in mind while composing was not older scripture, so... Ya got me.)

Hey, I really appreciate the feedback though. I need every constructive comment I can get and this is by far one of the more helpful comments. Thank you!