This is deeeep. I can resonate a lot with it.
There's something about being hurt to the point where it's like you almost can't be hurt anymore and then there's a feeling of some sort of nirvana associated with that.

Though I'm not grateful for all of the pain, there is some I'd rather not have experienced and don't want to try to use it as a learning experience because she told me she didn't want to be a learning experience and because I feel that way too, not just because she said it... But there's a certain hard to describe kind of sacredness to some pain that is different in my opinion.

You're great with words and I love reading your articles!