I know I've been really inactive on Steem lately and there have been many times in the past 2 weeks where I really wanted to write an article for my blog but something or the other kept coming in between.
Not just that but I think my urge to create content has dimmed down a little bit in the past few months. Part of the reason is my work life, of course, which is no surprise. But the other part has a lot more to do with my personal priorities.
I don't really know how to explain it. It feels weird to not see new content on my blog but for some reason, I'm kinda okay with it too. But I don't want to be okay with it. I want to write. I want to keep on writing.
And it fucks with my head to not know what I should do.
Do I need to chill out or write more often? Is it worth it to push harder? Should I rather spend the time that I spend on my blog to find freelancing projects? Is it really my age to be stressing about money?
I include a link to my blog in my portfolio when I'm applying for projects online but I'm scared that I'll be asked why have I been so inactive. I don't have a proper answer to that, but do I really need to?
I know this article might not be that fun to read but this is my way of letting it out and telling myself I need to take it easy and breathe a little.
I don't know why but it has always made me incredibly uncomfortable whenever I've taken a break from my blog. I mean, I know my mind needs a break but then why do I feel uneasy when I actually do? Isn't a break supposed to be relaxing?
I think it has something to do with the fact that I set up a standard for myself that I need to post at least 3 articles on my blog in a week and when I'm not able to maintain that standard, I get nervous and I feel guilty.
I want to write more often but I also know that I can't always be available for my blog because as I'm growing older, so are my priorities. My blog is still a big priority and is very dear to me, but I can't keep pretending that I can handle everything in my life in complete synchrony.
I need to give myself some time, think, organize my priorities, and start again. Properly, this time. Maybe it'll work.
Previous Freewrites:
- Surrender - A Dreamy Freewrite about Losing Control and Letting Go
- 3am Thoughts - A Curious Freewrite about Beauty, The Universe, and Eternity
- When It Gets Hard, Drive Slow - A Personal Freewrite about Loneliness, Social Anxiety, and Recovery.
- Let People Go - A Melancholy Freewrite about Love, Nostalgia, and Growing Up.
