The way she did her hair, she always reminded me of a banana. Nah, don't think that, I mean in a good way. She had this long, blonde hair that she just did up somehow and it covered her face. It was her punk-rock do, you know? The one she put on whenever she was going out, to run the town and get drunk.
She liked to fly, but she needed someone to give her the wings, which is always a shame, because if you grow to depend on someone else for your wings...then, you never know when they might clip them.
And she depended on everyone, with her pretty hair and her made-up eyes. She did that to look older, to get the guys to buy her a drink. She always looked so small when she wasn't wearing any makeup. Wouldn't give her a day over fifteen. Well, she was sixteen, in truth, but I always saw this as a good thing.
If people though they might get in trouble over her, maybe they'd just leave her be. But you know, Raynie was alone for a long time and the last thing she wanted was to be left alone. Oh no, she just wished to be the soul of the party, the life of the house. And she liked the eyes of the men, lingering over her young body. Made her feel so...wanted.
I tried to protect her, but she never listened to me. I tried going out with her, don't think I didn't. I know, I don't seem like much of a party boy. I'm not. I hated everything Raynie did, but I loved Raynie.
I'd spend most the night following her around and begging her to go home. And she always invited me, because she thought she was being nice. We both knew I didn't want to go, I just wanted to help her.
But some people can't be helped. So, I'd let her do her hair up like a banana and I let her get drunk and dance on the pool table and I let all those guys look up at her. And I told myself I couldn't help her.
But I could've. Looking back, there's always more you could've done, isn't there? But you did not. And you must live and die with the consequences.
And so must I.
You've been very nice to listen to all this. I really appreciate it. And listen, don't blame yourself, please. You did everything you could, but I was going to do this before I even met you. You didn't stand a chance. But it's not your fault.
I'm going to be with my Banana Girl, now. I'm going to be with Raynie.
