From a vantage point
Much of what I've written over the last eight or so days has been due to widening my perspective. There comes a point in most peoples lives when we take a step back from where we stand. I liken this to "Shaking the tree", sure some leaves might still be hanging on but how will they stand up to some disruption and shaking? Our thoughts, ideals, views and perspectives can be obstructed by foliage that's literally just "hanging on". Often it is our attachment to certain beliefs that aren't as concrete as we once thought they were. A simple shaking of the tree, or questioning oneself can often clear the clutter and provide us a new view. I'm at a particular perspective altering moment in my life and in a way i feel like I am waking up from a dream that I am waking up from a dream (inception?). It's easy to resist change, but harder to admit that resistance. In a world where most of us would assume that logic would prevail, it is being met continually with denial and fear. We're afraid to acknowledge what we're really seeing, a truth that could potentially shake those leaves we've become attached to clear off the tree.
Yes, we are all unique individuals, finding our way through the mazes of our own minds, social constructs and belief systems. I could never imagine everyone seeing things from exactly the same perspective nor would I want such uniformity. What makes us so special is the different perspectives we have, even when we're looking at the same thing. Of course, if you're looking at a Dog, most people would agree and find common ground on the logical fact that a Dog, is a Dog. Living outside of where I was born and raised has led to put many things into perspective, as long as I'm open to exploring and genuinely want to grow. Sometimes, I don't like what I see. I faced certain fears, and continue to do so because it is important in my quest for knowledge and understanding (of myself and being honest with myself). I've heard it said many times before, that the longer you resist change, the more set in your ways you become and the harder it will become to make change whether you have to (to cure or survive disease) or not. I've seen it with people I know, they couldn't make the changes and were overcome and passed on. I'm making it a point, putting in the effort and facing my fears in order to be more open to the type of change that is better for me. Just because we don't want it to happen, doesn't mean it's not happening.
There's something wrong with my mouth
I have had my fair share of experiences with Dentists. My earliest memories are now classic horror stories of an old German man, our family dentist. His hands smelled of bleach, sterile and rough. he didn't wear gloves nor did he ever offer any pain relief while he drilled into my teeth to install metal fillings. I used to cringe when he drilled, often coming to tears. It's safe to say that I got used to the pain but I didn't make it a habit of coming back, even for a cleaning, as to avoid any potential drilling and filling. If you're one of the lucky ones with a dental plan or insurance that covers it, or just rich enough, I salute you! It's almost too late for me now.
I went years without seeing a dentist and eventually came the time where I had to pay the price, despite my (higher I thought) threshold for pain, I was no match for the agony that first one put me through. I couldn't chew, anytime the tooth touched the one below it there came a piercing jolt that was too much to handle without going insane. I'm sure there are many of you who can relate! Well, it's back again, for the 3rd time and now (this very moment) my face has swelled up along my jaw around the effected area. I went to the dentist last week because I already knew what to expect and when the x-ray came back and it was determined that something needed to be done, I was faced yet again with this dilemma. It's time, I've cleared my major commitments and should be able to take the time I need to heal before getting back it. I wrote this in order to make a decision and it has been made.
Don't be a Zucker
At the dawn of 2007 I joined Facebook. The platform accompanied my departure from the familiar and followed me into a new life that has developed far away from my place of origin. See, I came from the MySpace era, where I mainly used it to connect with Hip Hop around the world and share/promote my music. From the cluttering of MySpace came a slicker, more flexible platform that everyone seemed to be adopting. So, my usage of Facebook became the same as how I used MySpace, which as time passed, became a point of contention for me. What I loved about Facebook is gone and what has replaced it has created this unsavory dependency (addiction?) that has brought about resentment. As much as I want to part ways, I just can't seem to do it. I've taken a number of "breaks", which is always healthy, but my "connection" with friends and acquaintances keeps pulling me back in, or so I beleived.
I try and share my posts from Steemit but you know how that works, at least it works that way for me, with very low engagement and algorithmic disruption. For this reason I've put more effort into building on Steemit and sharing here, where at least I'm reward, even if there's little interaction. I've been close many times, I even created a new account that I used to start fresh, but that didn't really work out. Now that I'm giving it more thought, facing the fear (of missing out), I really think it's time. I'm going to set a date and I'm going to do it now. I'm going to lead myself up to this with a series of Facebook posts encouraging my "friends" (the real ones) to join me where it matters most to me.Too many "friends" has become a problem. Consuming a mass amount of (mostly meaningless) content and information has created distractions. I know how to download and save my "Life on Facebook" so why not? It's time to begin the next phase of my life.
The date has been set. September 11th 2018.
Day Eight
The End