Making friends isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t have to be difficult either. Nearly everyone could use a few more friends.
Use this checklist of some suggested steps for making and keeping new friends:--both personal and in business
___ Assume a measure of familiarity. Formality is a barrier to friendship. You know that incredibly charismatic person that makes you feel like you’ve known him for 10 years, even though he’s only spoken to you once? One way to accomplish that same effect is to act “as if.” Act as if you have some rapport with the person.
___ Take the lead. A bigcomplaint most single and married people have is boredom. You can quickly make new friends by reaching out and offering the opportunity to spend time together. It’s not a date, so there’s no reason to be nervous. It can be as simple as, “Want to grab lunch together?” A few, simple offers like this each week will change your life.
___ Smile. Is there anything more friendly and welcoming than a smile? Who wants to be friends with someone that rarely smiles? Let people know you’re friendly and approachable by smiling regularly. Be known as the person that’s always positive.
___ Maintain the friendships you already have. It’s easier to maintain a friendship than it is to build a new one from scratch. Try to avoid allowing weeks to go by without making contact. A quick call or text message can do a lot to preserve a friendship.
___ Have meaningful conversations. Most people don’t enjoy shallow conversations. It might be nice to chat about the weather with a stranger in line at the grocery store, but you won’t create meaningful friendships without meaningful conversation. Open yourself up to deeper conversations.
___ Share meaningful experiences. Going to a movie together is fine, but you can do better. Imagine if you shared a trip to a local cave or took a rock climbing class together. You’ll still remember the cave in 10 years, but probably not the movie.
[TIP] Make a list of activities you’ve always wanted to try and places you’ve always wanted to visit. Find someone to do them with you.
___ Drop those friendships that aren’t working. Being friends with someone doesn’t mean you must be friends forever. It takes time to fully know someone. Sometimes you won’t like what you find. Avoid spending time on friendships that aren’t worth the time. Make room for a new friendship.
___ Look to friends of friends. If you like your friends, you’ll probably like their friends, too. At least you have something in common – a mutual friend! New friends might be closer than you think.
___ Make your friends feel special. We all long to be important to someone. Make your friends a priority, and they’ll do the same for you. Show them that you value them and are there for them.
___ Be patient. Good friendships take time to grow. Most people are on guard when you first meet them. It will take time to show that you have good intentions. But it is worth it to make and keep good friends.