Hi Steemers. Today I want to introduce you three types of people in your life, and explain the purpose of their existence.
There is a saying, “ everyone you meet in your life has a purpose; you meet people for a reason, season or a lifetime” – I for one, am a true believer of this. So let’s dwell into this deeper.
1.) The Comrade - The person in your life for a reason
“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
This individual does not stand for you; neither do they stand for what you believe in. This individual simply stands with you against a common foe. This is frequently demonstrated among politicians. You are perceived more powerful with numbers, politicians will often build alliance against a common foe just so they can overpower the common enemy. Once the objective is completed, the alliance has ended.
I recall back in high school there was a ruthless, miserable teacher that went with the name of Mr Gomez. This teacher was very unprofessional, and broke some code of ethics with his actions and comments towards the students. The good thing about an individual who has breaks code of ethics, is they do not have a leg to stand on when somebody plays by the same rule breaking as them. One day, I grew tired of Mr Gomez comments and decided to challenge him, even exchange in ruthless comments with the teacher. During the trades of insults, a peer of mine decided to jump to the cause and side with me in challenging Mr Gomez teaching methods and his lack lustred lessons. In due time, this became a consistent theme, my peer and myself teaming up to challenge the unethical teacher. We even discussed about it out of lessons and developed a friendship. However, once Mr Gomez was dismissed from the school which was not very long, the friendship went into a steady decline as the objective had been completed and nothing else was left to materialize.
Gracefully accepting a comrade for their title, allows an individual to learn through the ingredients of the objective in hand. Had my comrade not supported the cause of fighting back against Mr Gomez, I may had not endorsed the strength of conflict and felt victorious in bravery against the crazy teacher.
2.) The Constituent – The person in your life for a season
Now, this is the person you have to be aware off in my opinion. Confusing a constituent as a Confidant can be extremely painful. Often, individuals will mistake a constituent for a person who is ‘ride or die’ for you. Often, people will believe constituents are really for the happiness for you. What an constituent really is, is an individual who is temporary for you as they have something to gain, whether it is wealth, popularity, energy, attributes etc. In some sense, you can say these individuals are using you. Although, a constituent will walk like a confidant, talk like a confidant, they are not! The friendship with a constituent is not actually about you, it is about themselves and their concealed objectives. Once they find no real use for you, they will depart and find somebody else to leach energy off.
When I was at University (College) I became very close with a lot more older student. She was a mature student, a single mother and I saw her as an older sister. We studied together, chilled together, went to concerts together, we developed a real meaningful, purposeful friendship. I even got to know her kids very well. However, after graduation I hardly heard from my ‘older sister.’ The friendship was significant to me, but phone calls and meeting up became very irregular. At University, often there was a group of 4, including us both. Neither of the other two individuals had really heard from her either. It soon became apparent, that as our futures were no longer heading the same course of direction, the friendship had expired. Funny enough, a few months later when she heard I had some great recognition with my life coaching she re-appeared. By then, she was not an older sister to me, but a friend. She was no longer a Comrade to me, but a constituent.
Accepting Constituents can be hard at first, as you believe these individuals are really for you. Learning to gracefully accept the ways of a constituent can make this a lot more easier to swallow. After all, if an individual is not really for you, but their own objectives then why would you want them in your life past a season.
One way to recognize a Constituent from a Confidant is when you have some good, exciting news. Tell them the good news, and observe their reactions. If they do not imitate your enthusiasm for your own personal good news then you know they are not for you.
The Confidant – The Person in your life for a lifetime
Now, if you ask me, these individuals are a rare breed. If you’re lucky, you will come across four confidants in your lifetime. When you come across them ..do not let them go! These are the individuals that are ride or die for you. They feel the pain when you’re in pain, they feel the joy in your happiness. They embody your emotions and are for you! These individuals provide you empowerment towards chasing your dreams, improving your health and finding happiness. You can trust these people with you life, they do not have hidden agendas for your friendship and are genuine. Confidants make you feel so comfortable, that you can show your truest form of yourself to them.
I believe many of us will come across around 4 confidants in our lifetime. I believe at least one of these will be our soul mate. A partner who goes out their way to put a smile on your face, an individual you know, will pick you up when you are down. When you come across them, hold tight to them.
People are one of them most complex life forms on this planet. Within a society that is so conflicted, individual’s loyalties and agendas can be misplaced. Knowing which friends and family belong to which category, allows you to foresee and understand the development of friendships. As stated above, people are in your life for a reason, season or lifetime.