How many of you men have been or still are stuck in that iffy zone with your favorite female in the world? Doesn't matter if you're blessed with those Godly handsome features or a bit on the "looks don't matter side" we've all been there or still there.
It all starts with the back story. We've had that one crush or two that we've fantasized our whole life with them. That's right, men do this too. We fantasize. Get real, we might make fun of the females for being all sappy and emotional, I know plenty including my self who's planned out a 20 year life with my crush when I was 15. But guess what? This ish' never goes the way we fantasize. That's why we call it a damn fantasy. It never turns out to be real. That's actually the fun of it. You can be anyone and anything you want in our mind. But what if we can make it come to life as close as possible?
I've read plenty of books on pick up artists such as Neil Strauss, and tried studying female behavior inside and out. I come from a family of four older sisters. Being the youngest and most over protected boy in the family, I was barely able to watch people kiss on T.V. But I did pick up a thing on two on what women truly desire.
Going back to our back story. It's fear. Fear is what has kept us in the friend zone. Fear is what put rejection in our hearts and mind. Fear is what keeps you from that first step to your fantasy from being remotely non-fictional.
We are so afraid of looking stupid, and feeling uncool of the approach. We hate the feeling of rejection. That feeling in your stomach that you aren't good enough for that person, can create a monster inside you. We adore that woman from a distance and play it so safe, because we are so pathetic to want to lose that person if we made it known. Trust me, I'm guilty of this. I've gone years adoring a female without ever making it known to her that I've been head over heels. I played it safe and put my self in the friend zone.
The truth is, women don't put us in the friend zone. We do it to ourselves.
We create these scenarios in our head that we steal out of stupid movies to help us think will have her jump in your lap. What's even more funny is that, when it is time to put those stupid scenarios into action, we freak out as well. We bring in our good old friend "fear of rejection" and his partner "Logic" into our minds. We start thinking to ourselves, "this is scenario is stupid as hell." "This ish' will never work." "She's not gonna fall for that" Yea you're absolutely right. So we just sit there and watch her speak and and nod to whatever the hell she's saying in disappointment, because this week, you missed your opportunity again to make your move.
So how do we break this "friend zone"
Don't allow yourself to get in it in the first place. Too late? No problem. Leave her be. You need to take some time away from her. Stop obsessing and fantasizing about her for now. Easier said than done? Sure. You need to find another person to practice on. What does that even mean? It's a confidence builder. I'm a firm believer of practice, practice, and practice. Stay away from bars, clubs, and any other place where the females are expecting all the guys to hit on them. They already know they look fine as hell for that hour they are out. So their confidence is shot through the roof, and they are looking at you like the hyena you are to hit them with the weakest lines.
So save yourself the disappointment and trouble. Go to a starbucks, grocery store check out line, bank teller, fast food cashier, your front desk girl at the gym. I'm not asking you to get their number. Your job is to make small talk. You step on the basketball court, you're not going to pull up and shoot a 3 pointer the first time right? You're going to make that layup to get your rhythm. Small talk is key. Small talk helps you build your confidence and gauge responses. These females at the star bucks line, or grocery store, bank or front desk at the gym are not expecting you to get their number or hit on them. They are here to work and get their money and go home. Why not make their day, with small talk. "A simple, you have a nice smile, by the way. Or your eyes are gorgeous. Or as simple as what do you recommend. There is zero chances of rejection. and 100% chance of them smiling and continuing a small conversation. Even if you're not there to get their number, you made someones and yours. You spoke to another woman.
Do all these things by yourself. There is nothing worse and nerve wrecking than your boy or friend watching you do this. It's as if you're trying to impress him and the girl you're about to talk to. Talk about pressure. Keep practicing these small talk conversations, every single day. Each day you will get better and smoother and find your own way of your "game." It will become muscle memory. Your social skills, and communication skills will develop so fast and quick, you will enjoy talking to females, even if you're not in it to get their attention.
Take care of yourself, there's an obvious reason why female are attracted to certain kind of men. It's not the money. It's personal grooming. Invest in your health and body. Go to the gym, build your body and the mind. Groom yourself, do your hair. Keep up with the fashion. Females love a man who takes care of themselves. It shows that you're self sufficient, and you're able to take care of them as well. Stand out from the regular guy. Hold your self to a certain standard. You have to try to look good. Even if you're not blessed with those looks, you can still transform your body through the gym, lose weight, build some muscle. Clean hair style, and create yourself a sense of fashion. I always watched celebrities and how they dressed. Doesn't have to be outlandish. But stand out with some decent clothes.
Start small, you don't want to go for that model looking female just yet. Lets get your some experience. Talk to anyone and everyone you come across. Small talk. Doesn't matter what they look like, you're practicing.
Now you're getting responses. Females are more receptive to you and friendlier. It's the energy. They sense the energy and vibe you give off because they can sense the confidence in you as a dominant man. Don't break it for God sakes. Woman love a man with a sense of mental direction. A leader, and motivation. Women loved to be heard and reassured. But you're not hear to suck up, you're also here to voice your ideas as well in a conversation. Be gentle but inspirational and motivational. Be spiritual. Women need that sense of well being coming off a man.
Let's go back to our boo from day one. Shoot her a text or call to check up on her. If you guys are still on talking terms, you make the plans, the decisions to meet up. Let her see that confidence side of you. Talk to her about the other females. It makes her lose security of her place as your top priority now. Of course she's going to question you, about them and if they are a good fit for you. Disagree with her, in a passive way. If you truly still want this girl and your self development, sure continue to meet her. But you make the plans. Be flirtatious, give her subtle compliments about her hair or eyes, or lips. Gauge how she reacts to them now. if she's more responsive and compliments back, then you're slowly breaking out of the "friend zone"
Let's not forget our other females we've invited in your life since you took that break away from your fantasy woman. Keep them in the loop. Continue your flirtations, and talks, and meetings with them. It's harmless. It creates options, and most importantly sharpens your goddamn GAME.