Some days I just want to say these things ( not in any order ) :
- when your boss walks over and says that report is urgent ! I want to To tell him to that off is the direction I'd like him to fuck !
- when someone asks me if I'm on facebook , what I really want to say is " bitch I'm on fuckbook !, not Facebook , it's been hangout since my fucking divorce !
- when the family law court judge looks at fathers who want the best for their kids as if they are criminals . Recently a judge in July 2017 asked me in Sydney " why I took my son to the doctor"? Without consulting with the mother ? . What I really wanted to say was " your honour your question is as fucked as your judgment motherfucker !! Why does anyone go to a Doctor you fucking moron ??!
- I work with some pretty sexy women but there is this hot Aussie chick who loves my accent , and asks me out for a coffee all the time . I've been tempted so many times just to say " can we skip coffee and fuck ? I just want to do fuck you in the boardroom on the fucking Table . Obviously saying it wouldn't be a great idea , but every time I see her the voice in my head is saying that ! -
- When your brother in law ( who is usually a faggot of seismic proportions ) or ex brother in law in my case tries to tell me how lucky I was to have married his sister .. my Wishlist reply is " your mother should have swallowed you asshole "
- When on the first date a girl asks you " whats your idea of a romantic date "? Likely answer : holding hands walking on the beach on a moonlight night "
The bromance answer " fucking you on the beach " yes bitch that's my idea of a romantic first date !!!
- when people ask " what were you thinking ?" You want to say " I was thinking right from the middle of my fucking arsehole , that's why I got it wrong "
- when some one asks me about my bucket list . Seriously isn't that such a fucking overrated thing ? All I say is I have a " fucket list " that never. Fucking ends !!!
- This post is not intended to offend anyone , and even if it does , I will file that under " fuck it " Photo source : redbubble.com
Photo : zazzle .com