The Mainland | Communications Division| After a promising trial-run of Fuji Fuki's new line of mechanical chopsicks - MechaSticks - which were sold in five, randomly selected Fine Wine Emporiums (in The 3rd, 4th and 5th Wards only), expectations were high for the newest addition to Fuji Fuki's high-end line of sticks. "Based on the numbers, our analysts' forecasts predicted exceptional ROI," said Dan Merryweather, Communications Director for Fuji Fuki's R&D Division. "Unfortunately, the forecasts were wrong... as forecastes often are," said Mr. Merryweather. "They'll tell you it's raining while the sun is out blazing."
True as his observation may be, the sun was certainly not blazing in the R&D Division when lower than expected sales numbers came in at the end of the first week. Un-named sources at R&D blame the Marketing Division and point to an ad strategy which is "...boring, bland and just plain bad." In response, an un-named source in the Marketing Division stated "Even the best advertising can't sell a stinker." The R&D Division is located in The 1st Ward while the Marketing Division is based in The Second Ward.
When asked to respond, Mainland representatives opted to remain neutral - as is to be expected when rifts between wards occur - issuing the following, often-used statement: "This is a matter to be settled by the wards in question. The Fuji Fuki Corporation cares for all seven wards equally and expects the board-members of both wards to present a joint-solution to Mainland's board-members by the end of this fiscal quarter."
On a bright note, MechaSticks over-performed in The 3rd Ward which is where the limited-trial run will occur. In terms of demographics, The 3rd Ward is considered to be more progressive than most other wards due to a market driven by young consumers who work in high-end industries and are generally more open to innovation.
It is the opinion of most "neutral" analysts that the real cause of lower than expected earnings was neither the product nor the marketing campaign but an unexpected backlash of sentiment by traditionalist which doomed the initial run of mechanical chopsticks; if it weren't for the re-release of the product, this newest addition to Fuji Fuki's line of high-end sticks would most certainly have became the fastest addition to be dropped out of production.
"That would have been a great shame," says Ester Berkovitch, the 74 year old inventor of the MechaStick. "The idea came to one day while caring for my late husband Walter. During those final months, he experienced coordination issues and watching him struggle - and the shame he felt - broke my heart." After the death of her husband, Mrs. Berkovitch contacted her social worker who took the matter up with Social Services. A proto-type was produced and application for production approved by the Mainland within two fiscal quarters with the launch occurring in Q1 of the following year. "Perhaps we moved to fast," says Mrs. Berkovitch. "This wasn't meant to be some fancy-smanshy new contraption. It's for those who suffer from physical disabilities. It should have been offered cheap or God-forbid... free!"
Though everyone laughed when the word "Free" was used - since "Free" does not exist in the Mainland's vocabulary - apparently Mrs. Berkovitch was serious. Clearly, Mrs. Berkovitch is a remnant of a world far different than the ROI-driven society that is the here and now.