I am a frequent and experienced traveler. Frequent meaning I travel to the same place via flight and experienced because I travel heavy. My convoy consists of 4 carry-on baggage, 2 of it being babies and a few large suitcases that carry everything baby related. Everything except their beds. We bring back toys, clothes, diapers, even a portable potty.
If you are looking for actual travel hacks, this may not be for you. However, if you are here to hear some bad dad jokes, you've come to the right place! Here are 5 tried and true travel hacks that may or may not work.
Look Confident & Safe Money
Confidence is key when travelling. Those airline and hotel staff can smell self doubt before you even get on a plane. Convince them that you are right. Here's a real life example that could have happened once before. I had a carry-on baggage that was overweight and had to be checked in.
The problem with checking in was that I had to pay a large sum of money. I shall carry this overweight baggage in one way or another. I waited, observed the staff. I know that the human body is incapable of staring into nothingness. The staff is bound to take out his smartphone. So I loitered and waited for my chance. The moment he took out his smartphone, I strolled in confidently before he could stop me.
Look confident and it will save you money.
Bring A Baby
Babies are tough to travel with. But why pay extra money for business class if you are given special treatment if you bring along a baby. Some airlines offer you front seats. You know, the seats behind the wall that separates us from those in business class. Not too bad, I reckon. Plus, you get to board the plane first before all the others. Now, that's a hack!
Of course, babies do cry on the plane. They also do crawl over you and if it is a long flight, it can be a challenge. But hey, you still get served food first, don't you? No? Perhaps, this is not such a good idea after all... Moving on...
The Endurance Challenge
This is some practical advice, so listen up. There are two kinds of space on the plane. Your space and neutral space. Your seat, that's your space. The arm rest and the space where the person in front of you could invade by reclining their seats, those are neutral space.
Like a warrior, you have to fight for those extra space. As soon as you get on the plane, place your elbows on the arm rest. I know, it gets uncomfortable after 15 minutes, but you have to fight for what is yours. Endure the pain, the space is worth more than your cramming arms.
Disclaimer: Long periods of arm inactivity causes cramps, try this method at your own risk
Don't Joke With The Police On Duty
So let's return to the ground for a while. Whatever you do, no matter how friendly you want to be, do not joke with the police on duty. Times have changed and airport security now requires passengers to take off their belt and shoes before going through the metal detector. Standard right? Except that if the passenger is tired, they may say things that are inappropriate.
Someone I know (it's not me, really) was once asked to take off his shoes, socks, belt and hoodie before passing through the scanner. For no reason, this person asked the policeman if he was enjoying seeing him strip. Thank God it only ended with a stern warning. So save the jokes for outside of the airport.
Be Careful Of the Fine Print
Did I say 5 travel hacks? I mean 4 + 1 , you have to pay for extra hacks. Its on page 367 section C clause 47 of our terms and conditions. You did read out terms and conditions, didn't you?
Be careful of the fine print before buying any tickets. At times, the ticket prices may be extremely cheap but other things may cost you a premium to add on. This includes extra baggage, in-flight meals and entertainment.
Conclusion
With all these hacks, you are now ready to travel well and even save some cash! Of course, if you have read this far, you'll know that some of these methods can work if the stars are aligned and luck is on your side. I hope I've made your day by giving you a good laugh. Do let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
