Miraculously
I've created dirt/soil/earth/Terra Firma or, whatever the hell you want to call it, in my vegetable garden...!!!I'm feeling kinda God-Like at the moment, even though it took me quite a few years (accidentally) to create the first pile of soil, it only took 'ONE' year to make the second batch... See how much better I've become at creating stuff???
Guess what...?
'YOU' can do it too, my friends… (If you really WANT too...)Now, don't expect to be able to make new dirt for your garden simply by snapping your fingers...(Unless you know something I don't) or, you're a more POWERFUL god than 'I' am...
You well versed, experienced horticulturist type can quit reading at this point, because you already know what I'm about to divulge to the masses...at least, you've surmised ;>)
It's pretty simple, unless you have a tendency to complicate everything in your life; like some people I know...
All you've got to do, my fellow inquisitors and God Wannabes, is to grab a bunch of smallish branches, and dry leaves that have fallen off a tree or two, and pile them up somewhere in your yard. The bigger the pile you make, the 'more' dirt you're gonna have, down the road a bit.
Here's a Pic I Took as an Example
What you might want to consider, is HOW MUCH dirt you want to create; because, all those sticks and leaves you pile up are going to shrink down to about a tenth of their size...maybe less. Your HUGE stack of DEAD stuff is going to wind up being a mere teeny-weeney amount of dirt, eventually.
THAT's IT, my simple minded, simple seeking, simplistic gardening buddies...!!! EASY, RIGHT...??? No FUSS...No MUSS.
You DON'T even have to throw in any food scraps or other 'green' garden waste materials, like you have to when making compost...and, don't waste any time and effort into sprinkling in some stone dust or anything like that...Ya DON'T need to...!!!
One thing that I should add for all you overly eager, OCD suffering, Hyper Active afflicted poor souls...is, that if you TRULY feel the uncontrollable desire to do more than just sit on the back porch and watch your idle, dry foliage turn to rich, dark soil...you can occasionally spray it with water, add some matured compost and turn it all in from time to time... That, will speed the process up a bit and keep you from needing a medication adjustment from your doctor.
Ultimately...Here's What You'll Get
Epilogue:
How I (accidentally) Learned to Make Dirt & Stuff Like That...
At the start of this highly, enlightening gardening post, I mentioned that the first batch of soil I made was "accidental". If you remembered and are now wondering WHY I failed to explain that interesting tidbit; here goes...
If you DON'T CARE...then skip the rest of this shenanigans and just go straight to 'Comments' and praise or curse me out; either way, it'll probably not matter much in the Grand Scope of eternal Space and Time.
Anyway... About a dozen years ago after moving here, I began having a lot of dead, old dry branches falling off my neighbors huge Sycamore tree and smacking me in the head; fortunately, the big branches that fell, always missed me.
Since I was new in the neighborhood, and didn't know if Ed was a crazy, trigger-happy fella with a shotgun, I decided that it might be in my best interest NOT to throw the tree limbs that fell in my yard through his window, in anger...and instead, I'd just toss the dead wood to the side.
Over time, those branches began to pile up and I got an idea to craft some natural looking garden devices in my yard, like a trellis or little decorative pathway fencing...or crap like that...but, every time I did, the things I made rotted pretty quickly and broke apart.
So, I'd just curse and throw the debris back over to the growing pile from whence it came :>) where it sat rotting further away, like everything else I threw there.
Eventually, as the huge tree shed it's dried out Fall leaves all over the place, I let the ones that fell on my woodpile just 'stay' there. Low and behold...after a few years of this, little Spring greenery would start to appear all over the whole mess; die back at the end of Summer and 'rot' with the rest of whatever I threw on top.
After a bunch of years letting that pile grow higher and higher, I began to jump up and down on top of it to snap the dead branches down, quite successfully compressing the mess to an adequately smaller mass of material.
My neighbors, by then, suspected I was a bit harmlessly, eccentric, so they never called the cops on me out of fear. They just stood there with confused looks on their faces, scratching their noggins... Occasionally one might ask what I was doing, without seemingly being satisfied with my vague response. They 'STILL' stood around scratching their moppy mound of hair, as if infested by gnarling little mites.
Oh well...what can I say...!?!?!? Not everyone has the same intellectual talent, nor superior cognitive abilities as ole
and Nature loving souls globally... My neighbors seem to greatly lack basic, instinctive, intuition of any type, related to our Neanderthal heritage...like gardeners do.
I doubt they'd be able to survive beyond a few days at best, should an Atomic bomb land in the heart of our neighborhood, wiping out every food market within sight and knocking out the Internet...
Anyway...one day I received some kind of message from the mysterious, advanced Universal Conscious Mind telling me to take those small and medium size branches from the pile, and throw them into an ample sized hole I needed to dig nearby.
Then... (as the message continued)
"Refill the hole, dear mortal, branches and all, with thou dirt ye shoveled from within...and be at peace with thyself...evermore..."
So, that's what I did and as I removed the top layers of most recently placed limbs, I discovered beautiful, rich new soil smiling up at me from below. The old wood had broken down over the years with the help of creepy-crawlers and imperceptible micro organisms.
EUREKA...!!! I had CREATED my first batch of dirt...(accidentally) but, I FULLY understood how it happened; thanks to the whispering voice of Universal Consciousness...
Well...that's about it for now my weary-eyed readers. Sorry I stretched this post out longer than usual; go take a nice long break from curating on @Steemit. Have a cup of tea...squirt some soothing eyedrops into your reddened orbs and rest
I'm outta here...See ya when I see ya, friends...
Thanks For Reading
Ciao