Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
- How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
- Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.
- I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- How does a penguin build it's house? Igloos it together.
- Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
- What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
- Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- Ill call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
- What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant
- Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
- What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
- Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
- What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
- I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.