Sometimes being sober in the company of a drunk friend can stimulate interesting reflections. So, last Saturday in a moment of wisdom I started to think about what are the differences between my completely drunken friend and the dog next to him. These are the conclusions.
1. You have to take the dog to pee on a tree.
Your drunk friend too.
2. A dog tries to mount the legs of strangers.
Your drunken friend tries to mount strangers too.
3. If you bother a dog might try to bit you.
If you bother your drunken friend he hits you with his head.
4. A dog cannot speak.
Your drunk friend too.
5. A dog falls asleep on the floor of a room.
Your drunk friend too.
6. A dog eats anything you give him.
Your friend vomits whatever you give him.
7. A dog scratches his ears.
Your drunken friend scratches his crotch.
8. A dog licks the ground.
Your drunk friend too.
9. A dog bark when he sees other dogs.
Your drunken friend starts to yell when he sees other drunk people.
10. A dog has no money.
Your drunken friend had them.
11. A dog jumps on people.
Your drunk friend too.
12. You have to pick up to poop of your dog.
To your drunken friend, you have to pick up the vomit.
13. If you say to a dog “sit” he does that.
To a drunken friend, if you tell him to sit…he falls.
14. A dog licks you in your face.
Your drunk friend kisses you in your mouth.
15. A dog rolls to the ground.
Your drunk friend too.
16. If you throw a stick to a dog, he runs to pick it up.
To your drunken friend, if you throw a cigarette he runs to take it.
17. When you're driving a dog keeps his head off the window all the way.
Your drunk friend too.
