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We're getting sick of your nonsense blogs.

They're stupid.

They don't generate any value.

And they don't make any sense.

Will you please, just this once, try to write something that actually makes sense?

Something normal?

Something a normal person could reasonably be expected to want to read, upvote, and comment on?

Please??

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No.

…

No.

…

No.

…

No.

…

No.

…

No.

…

Okay,

…

FINE.

Here's your goddamn normal post.

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Whoa: This Post Is So Overwhelmingly Normal That Nobody Will Notice @Brandt Loading Up His Car With Food And Supplies And Then Driving Off Into The Wilderness To Disappear Forever

Short introductory paragraph to establish credibility and rapport, preview the upcoming article structure, shamelessly plug the author's idiotic side projects, and then ruin it all with the world's worst joke about short introductory paragraphs.

Oh my god that was terrible.

But regardless of how terrible that was, just remember, this post as a whole is NORMAL.

So normal in fact that oh your god, you are feeling completely overwhelmed by the normalcy right now.

So overwhelmed that you're totally clueless to the fact that Hive account@brandt just walked right by you with a big plastic tote full of raw white rice and Ramen noodles, Soy Sauce Flavor, and then dumped it in his trunk.

So there you are, frozen in your chair staring at your computer screen so utterly bamboozled by this Overwhelmingly Normal Post that you can barely breathe, when suddenly,

section heading in your face!

Holy shit it just got worse.

That heading made it way worse.

The normalcy here was already pretty close to causing total functional impairment, but now!

Oh your god, now!

It's unbearable!

Nothing else exists in the whole world save this Overwhelmingly Normal Post and your failure to resist its total overwhelm as Hive account@brandt, who is literally right here in the same room with you because you guys are roommates remember?, makes obvious preparations to drive off into the wilderness and disappear forever!

What will Hive account@brandt do next that you won't even come close to noticing now that your entire body is unceremoniously shutting down, without your permission?

Oh look, there he goes, a case of Red Bull under one arm and Pinky the Ice Axe under the other.

That's normal!

It's fine!

Everything's fine and completely normal here, which is why you're not noticing what Hive account@brandt's up to, not that it's anything worth noticing in the first place.

Is that a chainsaw?

What the fuck does he need a chainsaw for??

Who knows, doesn't matter, because you're so overwhelmed by the normalcy of this post at this point that you wouldn't notice a chainsaw if it chainsawed your legs off.

Reminder, this is a normal post.

And it appears that Hive account@brandt has just set the apartment on fire and walked out, in slow motion of course, with all of his backcountry gear in tow,

but you didn't notice due to how absolutely smashed you are on this post's insanely high Normalcy By Volume.

Good job.

Hive account@brandt's gone forever and your apartment is burning down and you're probably going to die tonight.

That's normal.

IT'S FINE.

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I hope you enjoyed your goddamn normal post.

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