The Heat wave moving through Texas right now is almost about to break records at 109 degrees.
Watching the weather forecast on local TV is almost hard to believe. Records for consecutive days in Tripple digits that have stood for 30 years are being shattered. The heat wave here is expected to end next week and cool way down to about 95 degrees which is still miserable but at least sane to try and work outside. The temperature is bad enough but when you figure in relative humidity it feels like 125-130 degrees. Here is a chart to help understand relative humidity.
The fake news has even entered the weather room for the last week! This is how the news should read regarding weather in these parts to be “fair and balanced”........
THURSDAY: Have you ever massaged the burner on your stove while on hi? How about trying to French Kiss a hot truck muffler? If not the expected high today of 106 would feel very similar to either of those two things.
FRIDAY: Imagine having a welding torch lit in your car when you open the car door. The exteeem heat will melt the skin of your face like lobster butter. If your lucky enough to have any energy left after 30 min out in the sun, consider yourself to have Alien DNA because no human can be comfortable with this nonsense. Today’s high of 107 is only 1 degree hotter than yesterday so shut up and deal with it.
FRIDAY: Imagine getting invited to the Devils house in Hell for dinner and the SUN also got an invite and is sitting across the table from you. You find out that the devil has arranged a marriage between you and the SUN. You are commanded to have children soon! Today’s Expected High of 109 degrees will tie a record from 1980. With a heat index of infinity......half the State of Texas is expected to either die or move to Oklahoma where it’s much cooler.
SATURDAY: Even though your at the lake and actually in the water, your STILL gonna be sweating like a Kentucky Derby Racehorse. Beer is impossible to keep cold because well.....Bionic Sun Lazer Beams are no match for plain ole frozen water. Today’s high of 106 is enough to ruin your day in boiling lake coves.
SUNDAY: Expeced High is 103....the SUN was heard saying on CNN this morning that he was giving Texas a break and gonna chill out....
MONDAY: Today is Sponsored & brought to you by the “SUN”......on your drive to work these billboard messages are everywhere. With an expect high of 105 people are wondering if it will ever end.
TUESDAY: SHUT DOWN The AIR-CONDITIONING in your house....today it’s only an expected high of 95 degrees.....Quit being such a pussy!!!!!!!! 😂😂😂🐳🐳🐳
My situation looks at lot like this right now.....going outside is Stupid. The roofs where I work are 165 degrees, you can feel the heat through the soles of your shoes. Being Broncnutz ain’t easy right now.......