Why Are We Being Given So Many Vests?

Apparently I own 175,600 vests.  This puts me on the lower end of the scale but this seems like plenty to me.  I mean how many vests does one man need?  One, two, half a dozen?  Currently Hive account@ned has over 12 Billion vests?  WTF?  Is this some sort of leisure suit ponzi scheme?  Are you guys trying to pump up and dump the 70s?  I don't get it.

Vest Redemption Policy?

Where exactly do we redeem these hundreds of thousands of vests?  Do we go to Men's Warehouse and tell them Hive account@george sent us?  Can we request a substitute for slacks or perhaps crocodile shoes?

Let's Rethink This Scheme

I think I have better options than vests that align with the 21st century and might get us some more customers:

• Pabsts - The hipsters would love it.

• Rainbows - Vests are primarily menswear and could be interpreted to be male chauvinistic.  Rainbows are for everybody.

• Plankton - My personal favorite.  This is a dietary favorite of whales and aren't vests one of whales favorite possessions anyway?

* Disclaimer - If you haven't figured out by now this is humor/sarcasm and isn't an actual call for any sort of action.