Departing from a sports stadium, I snapped this photo. It was an afterthought for months, stowing away in my files. But there is a story in nearly every photograph and I finally came back to interpret this one. So let’s take a closer look. It shows several kayaks and other small watercraft in the bay just beyond the stadium.
From there, we’ll move from left to right on your blockchain.
On the left, it appears that the kayaks further out (along with the catamaran) may be leaving. The game is over and the beer is getting warm, so why stick around?
Moving on to the front row, we have a kayak or canoe on the left side. The guy sitting in back looks very uncomfortable. A tall guy can only bend his legs that much for so long. Wait a second…is the woman in front giving him a foot rub? Now that’s cool.
The dude in the next watercraft is wet from the waist down. He’s also facing the wrong direction, away from the stadium where people on watercrafts get to watch the game for free through a gate in the wall. Did this dude jump in to catch a fly ball? Doubtful, since it would have been a home run, and having attended this game myself, I don’t remember any long balls exiting the stadium in that general direction.
Fun facts: Wrong Way Ray is sitting on a paddleboard, not a kayak. And it’s tied to the first kayak, even though he’s facing the opposite way. Reminds me of a sidecar. Paddleboard Pedro must be the kayak’s sidekick.
Continuing in the right direction on your blockchain, we next see what appears to be a second paddleboard.
This one has a woman on it. She has her legs in the air as it appears that something is falling over. What is that? A cooler, a TV, a flotation device, or a way for ET to phone the mothership, perhaps.
Is she connected with Spacecase Sam? Perhaps. That could be the beer cooler that is falling over or else she's kickboxing with a life preserver. And if this woman ends up with a wet ass when she falls over, then I could see her with Ray/Pedro/Sam, though it’s the other watercraft that seems to have him on the end of a leash. What a catch.
To the right, the flotilla continues with another threesome of flotsam and jetsam. It appears that No Shirt shaved his chest, except for a patch in the middle to remind all of his masculinity. Perhaps there’s a team logo shaved into his hairy patch, but I can’t see it from here. The next guy seems to be paddling a two-person kayak, but with only himself to blame.
Why didn’t these guys double up in one boat and save on the rental fee?
They probably each need their own to demonstrate hetero-masculinity, even though they chose matching turquoise kayaks. Or perhaps Hairy Patch wanted to do barrel rolls and Shadow Beard opted out to stay dry on his own log. Then there is Paddleman, whose face we cannot see because he’s hidden behind his oar. He’s actually auditioning for a movie role in the next superhero flick in which the hero has magical powers connected to an oar. Is that a jet ski he’s paddling or a muscular kayak?
Upon further review, the catamaran isn’t leaving. All binoculars on board are trained on the kayaks. Two men in black are sitting there and trying hard not to look like government agents, while the third put a huge orange jacket over the standard government issue suit. Now the hidden kayak with the superstructure and paddle-faced superhero makes more sense.
This scene is pregnant with anticipation.
Something was about to go down just when it was snapped. If I had been recording video rather than snapping still images, I might have found out what. But alas, I kept on walking. My guess is that 007 will soon crash the party and make glorious use of each type of watercraft. But if the boat people dock before their return paddle, they might want some hot dogs for the ride home.
In that scenario, 007’s main task might be forcing the stadium concessionaires to re-open even though the game has concluded. And get an elliptical machine for that damsel in pink, since she seems to be playing air guitar. Wait, I just realized that Bond is already in the picture. He’s the guy getting a foot rub on the left (he’s Bond, so the women line up to give him foot rubs). Got a horrible case of jock itch there and thanks to the lady for putting out that fire.
Name’s Bond. Goldbond. Next time, try Tinactin or a barrel roll in salt water. I hear it's great for toenail fungus.
No offense intended towards anyone in the picture or anyone viewing it.