William Southold | Opinion Columnist |The Southold Report
“Speaking fiction to power one story at a time.”
I guess I am fixated with the “sally” word today. I believe I have found the sally port for departing White House staffers, and it was there this morning where I met my friend Sally. This sally port is a Starbucks within walking distance from the White House, where Sally works. At the White House, not Starbucks. (See my problem?) I’ve met more than one departing White House staffer there. (At both, actually.)
Sally had previously worked as an intern for us, at CNS. This was our conversation:
Sally: Southold! Wow! I haven’t seen you for the longest time. Here, sit down.
I was happy to take her invitation.
Me: How are you doing? How are things at Communications?
Sally: I was hoping you wouldn’t ask. But I knew you would. I’m done. This is my last day. I’m outta here.
I was a little surprised, and I told her so. I’ve always thought an opportunity to see the Press shop of this White House from the inside would be an invaluable start for launching a career in journalism, as long as you withstood the more “warping” aspects of it. I knew Sally would be more than capable of doing that.
Me: So, color me a little surprised.
Sally: I know. I thought I would be there at least through the 2020 campaign. To watch it all unfold? It would have been a plumb.
Me: Not to mention a nice juicy book.
Sally: (Shaking her head.) I know, I know.
Me: So why then?
She took a moment to take a sip of her drink, and a small bite of her veggie bagel, which had been untouched until this point. I could see she was collecting her thoughts.
Sally: Off the record?
Me: As you wish.
Sally: For me it all started with the sharpiegate thing. The whole thing was so ridiculous. So childish. You want to hear what he really wanted to tell the Press? He wanted to tell them he knew more than the all those government weather scientists combined. That he was his own best weather forecaster. They always get it wrong.
Me: He knows which way the wind blows. If only as an excuse for his next shot into the rough.
Sally: Thank heavens Stephanie talked him out of it. But they couldn’t disarm him from his sharpie.
Me: (I knew she was talking about his new Press Secretary, Stephanie Grisham.) Sir, put down your sharpie and step away.
Sally: A bridge too far. Then the fiasco of the last two weeks, I’m sure you’ve written about it. Childishness personified, if not worse.
Me: Definitely worse, perhaps impeachable.
Sally now paused again, as she stared into her frappuccino. I’m only guessing. I take my coffee black.
Sally: But the real reason for me, and I knew it going in, is his total ignorance of anything scientific. Anything unquestionably proven, established science. This other stuff was just the final straw.
Me: And Government interference with the scientific community - that bothers me too.
Sally: You’ve met my father. You know he’s a scientist.
Me: Yes. With the Union of Concerned Scientists. We’ve had some very interesting, and enlightening, for me, conversations. That group is very down on Trump and what he is doing to cut funding for research, not to mention him being a climate change denier.
Sally: Plus all the crazy stuff he says. But not only that. My big brother works for an organization you’ve probably never heard of - CoCoRaHS, out of Colorado.
Me: No, I mean yes. I’ve met your brother. Noah.
Sally: Oh that’s right, I forgot.
Me: He’s the one who convinced me to join his network of community volunteers and put up my rain gauge. They’re all over the U. S. And Canada, even in the Bahamas. I have to admit, I’ve been a little lax in reporting my precipitation totals.
Sally: It’s important. The Weather Channel uses their data.
Me: I know, I should.
Sally: I tried to get them to put one at the White House. Trump heard about it and nixed it.
Me: Figures.
Sally: Trump’s war on science. It’s the real reason I’m pulling the plug. I just know I wouldn’t be able to go home for Thanksgiving if I was still to be working for that buffoon.
Now I was the one who paused. Sally is a good person, and a bright, and I think, rising star in journalism, who shouldn’t feel less of herself for not sticking with the crazies over at the White House.
Me: You know, there will always be a place for you at CNS, if you would care to return.
She didn’t pause this time.
Sally: Thanks, Southold. That means a lot to me.
It would mean a lot to me if Sally choose to come work for CNS, not to mention a feather in my cap. She said she would think about it, and let me know.
You see, some good can come out of this White House. And I know just where to find them, when they do.
Central News Service, proudly bringing you the fakest news anywhere, featuring our very own Pulitzer Prize winning Fake Newsman, William Southold
(CNS Disclaimer: Mr. Southold has in no way won the Pulitzer Prize.)
(Images from Wikipedia, WeatherYourWay.com)
