Old timers in rural canada use these so much it hurts. Improve your old world charisma with some out east similies. I would like to hear if any of these are used in the united states or other english speaking countries!
WARNING SOME OF THESE ARE NOT PC!
She's as dumb as a sack of hammers
He's as dumb as dogshit
He's as sharp as a mud fence
He's as sharp as mayonaise
That store is closed up tighter than a bull's ass in fly season
Busier than a cross-eyed cranberry picker
Wearing too much makeup?
Enough paint to paint a battleship, and enough powder to blow it upAs fucked up as a football bat. (drunk) (a personal favorite)
She can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch
Busier than a dog with two dicks
Beat my dick like it owes me money
Queerer than a three-dollar bill
Sweatin' like a whore in church
It's raining like a cow pissin' on a flat rock
Numb as pounded thumb
What other country cliche's amuse you? Or piss you off, for that matter?