Nordstrom is now selling their ‘rugged Americana’ mud-stained jeans for $425
Here Is How They Describe This Fashion Statement!
“Rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty”.
They call this design “Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans” and they come complete with a fake mud substance plastered all over them. Some areas of the jeans are covered in more of the brownish muck than others! Yum!
They're joking right? No sorry they're not and I'd like to cash in on people's stupidity!
I Offer The Following Accessories To Complete Your Look!
If you want these jeans and would really like to look like a working man just look what I've got for you!
Solution One:
A small container with dirt that you can shove under your finger nails! This little tub which retails for just $19.95 is filled with real dirt from various construction sites, farms and barnyards in real working class American towns! The little tubs are the perfect size to slip in the back pocket of your new jeans or the glove compartment of your car! You'll always be ready for that dirty working man look!
With this dirt under your nails you're bound to turn heads............. and stomachs!
Solution Two:
Of course a real working man finishes his day with that scruffy dirty hair look. For this we offer a practical solution with 3 different varieties. All three come in the same handy tub container and retail for the same low price of $19.95
With this stuff in your hair you'll look like you've been sloshing around the farm all day long!
- For those that want to simulate garden or farm work we offer a tub of shredded twigs and leaves. Just take a few pinches and sprinkle it on top of your head and you'll have all kinds of people admiring you for being such a rugged hard working man.
- For the construction worker fantasist we've filled the little container with concrete dust. This white powder will have you looking like you've just climbed down from some scaffolding on a windy day!
- If you prefer to masquerade as a carpenter type how about a tub of our wood shavings and saw dust? We've had our suppliers put in real pine shavings which have been swept up from various furniture factories across our great nation. And don't forget with this stuff embedded in your hair you'll smell good too!
We Care About The Environment!
On your second order we'll send either the dirt, the wood shavings, the concrete dust or the shredded twigs and leaves in bulk 2 pound bags and you can fill the little tubs yourself. At just 29.95 per bag these represent real value for both you and the environment!
Free Tips Because Our Customers Are Important To Us!
- Keep a little water with you and keep splashing the underarms of your shirt so it looks like you've been sweating!
- Rub a little grease or petrol behind your ears. The smell will drive women wild!
What Do You Think?
- Do you have any ideas for other accessories?
- Will these jeans actually be big sellers?
- Who would actually buy and wear these things?
- Has the world really gone mad this time?
I hope that you enjoyed " My Solution To Complete The Nordstrom Muddy Jean Look!"
Until next time,
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