LTRB….. no idea what that acronym means? Well, that’s because I just made it up. This fictitious acronym typifies how most the vernacular spoken in offices and corporations the world over appears to me – utter, self-absorbed nonsense.
A recent survey has found that these awful short forms are becoming more and more common, with an estimated 64% of American workers confessing to using this aggravating patter multiple times per week. Our workplaces are becoming increasingly awash with soundbites such as “low-hanging fruit”, “circle it back to me” and “tickle more ferrets with that broomstick” – OK I made the last one up, but I think it doesn’t look at all out of place.
Thankfully I am not alone. Another survey of 2000 office workers, conducted by Glassdoor in the UK, appears to conclude the majority quietly seethes when they hear this cringeworthy litany of pomp and smugness, with “touching base” being the most annoying term, garnering an impressive 24% of participant’s ire-based vote. Why do the masses put up with this? We should take to the streets!
Does the pro-faff mob think they sound more intelligent; acronymising phrases or jargonising straight-forward comments? Is it efficient use of time and energy when half the room is still figuring out in their heads what on Earth your last sentence was - as you move on to your PIQ (Point in Question), I mean WTF?!?!
Here is a list of my most irritating acronyms and office jargon. I have categorised it for your effortless perusal (aren’t I efficient and intelligent?):
JARGON
Take the project off piste
Blue sky thinking
Run an idea up the flagpole
Any sentence with the word “journey” or “synergy” in it
Cascade it downwards and outwards
How does that triangulate?
It’s a great get for the journal
Thought ideas and cascade teaching
Rules of racing
Reaching out
ACRONYM
TFC – The Fulfillment Centre – This is in fact a warehouse
The Bs and Cs – The benefits and concerns
PAR – Plan, Action, Review
COB – close of business
EDLP – every day low price
ICYMI – In Case You Missed It
TBT – Throwback Thursday – Just say Throwback Thursday for God’s sake!
SWOT – Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats
EOD – End Of Day/End Of Discussion
Anyway, that’s my rant over with. Now it’s your turn. What are your most hated acronyms and despised jargon? GFG (Go for Gold)!