Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

I'm 30+ years old and I have realized I still have so many unanswered questions!

I never found out who let the dogs out?... the way to get to Sesame Street?... why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps?... why we don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?... why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?... why "abbreviated" is such a long word?... why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons?... why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?... and, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? where's that extra penny going to??... why does The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?... why did you just try to sing those two previous songs?... and just what is Victoria's secret??? ...and do you really think I am this witty ?? ... I actually stole this from a friend who stole it from a friend Now it is your turn to steal it from me... lol Enjoy the rest of your day!

I needed a laugh today and I'm sure someone else does too..