I had everything packed and my backpack, backed; decided not to go.

^{So now I'm here with nothing to say and an entire day to waste away.}

The world around me is busy

^{you see.}

Zip zip zip zip zip goes the everyone, except me; I just like to watch.

Anyway

^{Good day to you. My name is Mr. Himself. I'll be your guide.}

Have you ever read a blog post about peanut butter toast?

Me either!

^{So let's see what we got here:}

^{Who takes a toaster on a train with them? Why is this about Nutella? I asked for a goddamn blog post about peanut butter toast.Who's in charge around here?}

Hmm?

^{What does this button do?}

Some kind of magic mystery box popped up like an instance of writer's block during a simile.

^{Oh. So now you want to ask me the questions.You bastards messed with the wrong guy this time!}

^{You're welcome!}

That's right!

^{I'm a team player.}

On my day off from doing nothing, I worked for Google. It says right there, "I helped improve Google for everyone!"

Time to keep on scrolling though. I need to find out more about this goddamn blog post about peanut butter toast so I can do my research and write my own goddamn blog post about peanut butter toast.

Let's see what we have:

^{What in the actual fuck is going on here?}

I don't want to click but I have to click. This is for science.

^{(source)Today I Learned: Raw toast = Bread}

Good to know!

^{But I am still without answers.}

It's time to take a shot in the dark. Blog post research isn't supposed to take this long.

^{Well I don't have any fucking clue either so I'm going to hit page 9 and see what happens...}

Page nine:

^{Looks like Chelsea's been talking smack again; those vegans are full of shit for some strange reason; someone finally stopped puking, so that's good; more of this goddamn Nutella bullshit! I thought I told these people to cut the shit already!}

"Feeling lost?"

^{"How to start over when things fall apart."}

I'd say this goddamn blog post about peanut butter toast fell apart a long time ago. I'll click that one.

Okay, I was sent here, first thing I see is some lady taking a shot of Dayquil...

I can't do this anymore!

Today's goddamn blog post about peanut butter toast has been cancelled.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Have a nice day.

Credits:^{Youtube video linked to source.}All images linked to sources or produced by me.
^{"What a shit-show that turned out to be."}

^{© 2018 @NoNamesLeftToUse.}