_{Good afternoon, good evening, good morning, good day and good night}

^{to you Sir, Ma'am, It, These, Those, and Them Over There.}

My Name is Irrelevant

^{And that's the first problem with this place!}

Don't you know who I am?!?

I've been here three months and I'm not a famous blogger yet? What is wrong with this place! I worked my ass off sharing links to news stories and political memes about that savage Justin Trudeau! I made one that made him look like the devil! Horns and everything! I do that on Facebook and I get twenty-seven likes within minutes because they know I'm right! They listen to me! This place is broken!

I took pictures of my tomato plants and no whale voted for them!

And That's Another Thing!

^{Whales are wrong with this place!}

These people think they're soooo great! Sitting there in their expensive chairs made out of caviar probably. Do you know how long it takes for a tomato plant to grow? Of course you don't! You're just a big dumb whale with a high horse shoved up your ass! I stared at those plants for two months! I took pictures everyday and you didn't vote for that?! You missed the best part! What's wrong with this place!

I'll tell you what's wrong with this place!

^{We get nothing!}

My first twenty posts over the span of three months only paid me $70! What's up with that? $70 is nothing! I can't live on that! I told my wife, "We're gonna be rich!" Now she sits on her ass all day saying, "Where's my money, Ernest!" In the snottiest voice you can imagine! "Where's my money, Ernest!" "Where's my money, Ernest!" "Where's my money, Ernest!" "Where's my money, Ernest!" "Where's my money, Ernest!"

"Where's my money, Ernest!"

"Where's my money, Ernest!"

"Where's my money, Ernest!"

"Where's my money, Ernest!"

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Ernest! What the hell are you yelling about! I'm trying to sleep!

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Martha! I had a bad dream again!

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Ernest! I thought I told you to stop watching those damn western movies before bed!

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Martha! It wasn't the dream about the cowboy who wanted to cuddle with me again!

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Ernest! Was it the one about the bowling balls coming out of your ass!

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Martha! It's three in goddamn morning! Think about the neighbors before you yell about things like that!

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Ernest! You're deaf! If I don't yell you just say what! What! What! What!

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Martha! What!

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Ernest! I said you're deaf and I have to yell!

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Martha! What!

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Ernest! Go back to bed!

What!

Credits: _{All images seen here were produced digitally, by me. "Did you say you want bread!"}

^{© 2018 @NoNamesLeftToUse. All rights reserved.}