Good day to you. My name is Mr. Himself and I will be your educator today.
For some reason, even that line was funny to me.
How? Why?
What's so funny?
Allow me to explain by writing a few things. In order for you to be able to grasp some level of understanding, reading will be required. If you cannot read, what the fuck are you doing here?
Anyway. It would be nice if people could respect the 'funny' tag. Those using the 'funny' tag are typically attempting to enter their post into the funny pages. Have a look at a newspaper. Now have a look at Steemit. Have another look at the newspaper. Then, look at Steemit again. Are you noticing any similarities? No? Oh for fuck sake...
Okay
So, in the newspaper we have many different sections. One of those sections is called the funny pages. It's usually full of jokes and humor. Since people are familiar with this thing called the funny pages, they can be prepared to read jokes and humor in advance. This makes life easier because nobody likes an asshole who suddenly starts laughing at the news story about those people who got drunk and rammed their van into that store that sells dildos. Yes, it's humorous but someone may have been hurt. If someone gets hurt within the funny pages, it's okay to laugh at their misfortune because there's a strong chance that character was a cartoon or just acting and didn't really get hurt. See the difference? No? Goddammit...
Okay!
So! If you are about to read something on Steemit, read the tag. If the first tag used is funny, that fucking word will be right at the goddamn top of the post. This is a clear indication that everything you are about to read is not to be taken 100% seriously. Sure, there might be some important information mixed in that could be taken seriously, but the author is using the goddamn funny tag to make it incredibly fucking obvious to anyone who's about the read the goddamn post that what's inside is meant to be humorous.
With that much information already handed to the reader on a silver fucking platter, taking the contents within seriously is the biggest douchebag move anyone can do to the author. Especially when they're finished and they leave a stupid comment that clearly shows how they had no fucking idea they were reading something humorous. How the fuck they can power through something designed to be funny without even realizing it is beyond me, but whatever, that's why they hired me to teach people stuff.
Pro-tip: If the first tag used is 'funny' and you see swear words and assume the author must be angry, you're an asshole! Why? Because! Reasons!
Anyway
Mr. Himself?
Yes?
I have a question.
I can tell. Would you please just ask the goddamn question instead of wasting my time with all of this small talk.
Sorry. You make me feel nervous.
Please! Just grow a spine and get on with it!
Okay. So. I was wondering if it's okay to use the 'funny' tag because for about two seconds my kitty showed up in front of my camera as I was talking about Bitcoin and I laughed.
NO!
That's not okay!
You're mixing news or commentary about a specific topic with something cute, okay! Look at that damn newspaper again! Do you see any talking heads mixed in with the humorous articles, comics or cartoons? No! You don't and there's a reason for that!
What's the reason?
Listen. Do you want to fail this class? I can do that, you know. I can write a big ole red 'F' on your paper and send you packing. Do you want to live in a basement suite under an old lady that has three dogs and seventeen cats who run around all day making it sound like you're living under a murder during a thunderstorm for the rest of your life or do you want to learn!
I want to learn.
Then pay attention!
People can still laugh at your stupid kitty but your show about the things you felt like saying that day because people actually listen to you for some stupid reason is not about kitties or humor. It was an accident that you somehow managed to be funny while boring people to death with your analysis. You should not be using the funny tag unless you want people to think you're one big fucking joke! Get it? Got it? Good!
You can be entertaining and that will probably earn you a larger following because most of these people are so goddamn boring it makes my head spin but please leave the funny pages alone. You'll fit in perfectly fine nestled in to your own section with your own people listening and paying attention to them being wrong more than half of the time.
Now look what you did!
I have no idea where I was going with this because of your damn distractions. I had all kinds of interesting things to say and now I forgot what those were because of you!
Let me see your lunch.
Okay. I'm taking the sandwiches and the juice box, I'm going outside, I'm going sit in my car, smoke a big bowl, get high as fuck, turn on the radio, then eat these sandwiches.
Everyone else is dismissed except you. You're going to stay back and write I am the biggest, stupidest, ugliest piece of shit in the entire class and now I don't have any sandwiches because of it fifty times on the board. Then you can leave a dollar on my desk for using up all my chalk and go play with the friends you don't have.
Have a nice day.
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