It's done.
Not everything went as planned.
Unfortunately.
First, I'd just like to thank you for your hospitality. It's not too often clients allow me to stay the weekend. Normally I have to be in, and out.
Your husband didn't dissolve as much as you thought he would. Whatever that liquid was, I don't think it was strong enough. Most of him didn't go down the drain, as planned. I blame you though. You told me it would work. I could have taken this guy down the road and threw him into the river, or something. He could be fish food but instead I listened to you and now you have a mess on your hands.
I still expect the rest of my money though. I don't care about your bathtub or the kitchen spatula I broke when I tried to scrape him up and flush chunks down the toilet.
And another thing. Wear a mask when you go in that room. Whatever that smell is, I don't think it's meant to be inhaled.
I hope this parcel reaches you in time. Enjoy the rest of your vacation.
Have a nice day. 
Warning: If you are not the intended recipient of this message, you may be in danger.
Forget everything you thought you knew about anything, put everything back inside the box as you found it except for the plastic bag. Inside the bag you will find many strange things. Those are yours now. My gift to you. This isn't over though. Not even close. I have a crew of people following this package. They are watching you, so don't try anything stupid. Put on the shirt that says 'I'm the Blowjob Fairy'. Find a bus stop. Ask everyone if they'd like a blow job. Once someone says yes, take the flute out and begin to play. It doesn't have to be music, just blow in it. Once you're finished, take the suntan lotion out and squirt it all over your face. Don't forget to close your eyes. Then grab a handful of that glitter stuff and throw it up into the air. Be dramatic about it and do a twirl as it falls. Walk away, find a new bus stop, do it all over again. Don't screw this up either. You're being recorded, we only have one shot at this, and the ad revenue from Youtube helps me pay for gas. No funny moves, no police. That's what you get for being so damn nosy. Now get out there and show me what you're made of!
