Unique names are often seen as “cool” and special. Or are they? Perhaps they’re just plain ridiculous, or worse, cruel. Where is the line exactly?
Here is my spoof book of baby names, would you gift it at a baby-shower? >
(designer: Hano Groenewald)
YOLO
While “carpé diem” is a profound exclamation; “Yolo” is a better name. You have one life. Enjoy it, take risks. This isn’t just an acronym popularised by rapper Drake, it’s a way of life.
Isn’t it a fitting sentiment to pass on to your progeny? After all, you only get the chance to bestow the “perfect” name once.
Some argue that it’s better as a second name, especially when paired with an apt first name like “Hashtag”.
KIMYONCE
Can’t decide whether your loyalty lies more with Beyoncé or the Kardashians? Kimyoncé it is. Not only do we hope your baby girl grows up to be just as wealthy and bootylicious as they are, we also hope she enjoys the versatility of the name.
In reverse order, it’s “Ecnoymik” and a random anagram is “Noymciek”. Just think of all the secure passwords this name could produce.
OREO
There’s something about those irresistibly cute babies that prompts the outburst “you're so cute, I could just eat you up!” That’s but one reason why “Oreo” might be the right name choice for you. Yes, this name was inspired by a cookie (“milk’s favourite cookie”, mind you) but there’s more to “Oreo” than its cute, round shape and delicious taste. It’s as classic as its black and white colouring. We don’t see this name going out of style any time soon.
OCEAN
Why not name your child Ocean? It’s what actor Forest Whitaker named his son. Besides, just think on all the connotations of the word. Deep and expansive. Mysterious and powerful. Brimming with life, beauty and brilliance. . .
Sure, the ocean is also salty, a little funny smelling and incredibly polluted, but why focus on the negative, right?
NETFLIX
Because “Netflix and chill” is probably why you’re searching for baby names in the first place.
That aside, do you find yourself watching entire show seasons in one sitting? Are you fond of epic, edgy names? Consider “Netflix” (it has an x in it and everything).
Another plus is that the word already means a lot to you, making it easier to translate all those accumulated netflixing hours into time spent with your newborn child.
ESPN
This is, of course, from ESPN, an American sports television channel. Realise that if you wanted to name your child after a sports network, you’d in no way be the first one to do it. Names like Espn (say it, don’t spell it) are definitely catching on.
So, if you love something like “Supersport” so much that it’s what you want to name your baby, go right ahead!
ESPEON - Pokémon, a Psychic-type Pokémon introduced in Generation II, to be exact.
Espeon is perfect for those parents out there who never quite let go of their Pokémon fixation. This way, your child may grow up with a name from a fad they weren’t around to enjoy and know nothing about, but hey . . . it’s a legendary name, isn’t it?
Choose “Espeon” for a name as rare as the Pokémon itself. And, it’s lilac!
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