Short and humorous, these quips are easy to remember. You might want to keep a few of these in mind, and impress your friends with your sense of humour. You can share them at a party, bring a spot of sunshine into someone’s life, and brighten up someone’s day. Everyone likes a laugh, and everyone likes a person who can make them laugh.
I just bought my husband a ‘Get better soon’ card. He’s not sick… I just think he could be better. - Unknown
Sometimes, I wonder what happened to people who ask me for directions. - Unknown
The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini. - Evan Esar
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson
I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight. - Jarod Kintz
They keep saying the right person will come along. I think mine was hit by a truck. - Unknown
Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don’t like. - Unknown
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest. - Roseanne Barr
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - W.C. Fields
Don’t bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out. - Carroll Bryant
I cook using the four food groups: Canned, Boxed, Bagged and Frozen. - Aunty Acid
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
Thank you for stopping by. If you like the post, please give it a vote. Reblog it if you think it worthy. Follow me if you like to read about Life, humour and quotes. Cheers!