(Doorbell rings)
Lula: Hi! Can Buddy come out and play?
Me: Buddy?
Bud: Don't answer that! It's Lula.
Me: Too late. Would you like to come in for a puppy cookie?
Lula: Don't mind if I do...is my lover pug at home?
Bud: no...No...NO!
Me: Gosh, Lula, I'd have to check. Why don't you just enjoy your cookie here for a minute?
Lula: CRUNCH!!
Me: Explain yourself, "lover pug".
Bud: It was only one night of senseless passion. I swear it.
Me: You can't leave her out there like that.
Lula: Buddy? Sweetheart?
Bud: Yes I can. In the final analysis, I am a dog.