Oooooo who's ready to drop some KNOWLEDGE in the comment section?
Stoked, keen on, and ruff'n'ready to check out what's cooking in your freaky brains toDAY!
Let it be known:
After today's weigh in,
STEEMIT is officially
HAUNTED!
Let's get this party started:
It's Monday, and this week's kickoff to Recreational Outrage at silly shit that doesn't really matter horrifically intentioned emojis designed to steal your soul, is:
It's too obvious why this is so upsetting to anyone with a brain...
This WHOLE thing kicked off when I found the corpse of Pac-Man among the emojis available to choose from:
🥠
Some people think that thing is a Fortune cookie.
They are wrong, and that is racist.
Typing "fortune" gets you this: 🔮
Typing "cookie" gets you this: 🍪
🔮 +🍪 = NOT a bloody fortune cookie.
🥠 = IS dead Pac-Man. RIP.
How many ways from Sunday are the emoji makers trying to ruin your life?!?
Since Before Birf, Yo!
Let's put the baby bottle 🍼 in a surrounding totally appropriate for young women thinking of conceiving!
The only things they missed in this tidy collection were a lit cigarette, an RX for RU-486, and an emoji of "angry teen kicking pregnant girlfriend down tall flight of stairs."
I've got an iPhone 3 (📺 ) that hasn't been updated since 2011...
Maybe next month we'll scope out how much worse the emojis were back THEN, when Bitcoin cost a nickel and Harvey Weinstein was still Hollywood's worst kept secret.
To the right, we've got lots of beer 🍺 🍻.
Unicorns, responsible government, mermaids, and fetal alcohol syndrome all belong in the same category, right?
To the left, we've got a cookie 🍪 WITH chocolate chips!
Gestational Diabetes (aka diabetes with pregnancy, aka "Sweet Whale Syndrome") doesn't need any help arriving on the scene when your very recently ex-girlfriend is 'great with child.'
The caffeine in chocolate doesn't help either,
especially when it's in the coffee, directly below, COOKING the breast milk!
Drinking a supernaturally low amount of caffeine (one 12 ounce cup a day), doubles the odds of a woman having a miscarriage.
Not good if you want a family,
not good enough if you don't.
The last nail in the proverbial coffin:
Yeah, that sinister item at the bottom left:
A hazelnut dipped in tasty Hemlock.
To quote the immortal Socrates, when he said:
"I drank what?"
The message is clear: Emoji makers are subconsciously programming us to harm our unborn children!
That, of course, has me
recreationally outraged!
Can't wait to read all of YOUR explanations for getting fired up on a Monday morning at this awful example, of willful harm, to almost fresh people!
Have a wicked Monday Steemit!
