I've spotted an Alien and it was not at 3 AM, I swear.

"IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!"
This is a serious post, if you are going to take it as a joke, please I invite you to remain.

Last night, I felt my whole body in a way that I never felt before.

It was 3 AM but something inside told me that going out to the back garden to get some fresh air would be a great idea.

So without overthinking it to much, I left with the slippers that i use to be at home and a jacket that barely sheltered.

A soft breeze caressing my whole body and a sky full of reddish stars with blue tones made me feel more alive than ever. I felt unstoppable, nothing and no one could spoil that moment. Or at least, that's what I thought.

A shuddering sound interrupted that moment, a bright light illuminated the whole garden, and everything seemed to be the act of a science fiction movie.

My whole body was filled with fear, that powerful light from the heaven paralyzed all my senses, and trying to move would be totally useless.

Quickly, what seemed to be a probe, slid through the powerful light to perch on the back of my pants.

A pleasant sensation flooded my whole body. I had never felt in that way, everything seemed to indicate that I had experienced an anal orgasm.

The light vanished completely, leaving no trace. Aliens? Maybe.

Ok now seriously.

Why is there always a man on the TV who says he has spotted an alien, at 3 AM in the morning walking through the countryside?

Could not you have sighted it by day? And what did you do at 3 AM in the countryside?

And even worse, why was an alien coming down from his ship to enter on you an anal probe?

I don't know man, many questions and just a few answers.