How many of you guys out there remember Paperboy?
Ah, the good old days when games didn't have to make any sense or maintain any kind of relevant continuity. You just had stuff -- STUFF, happening all over the place!
No rhyme, no reason.
A D pad and two buttons was all you needed. Some games even used the start button. Most hadn't even heard of select! 'Cause who needs to waste time selecting things? I've got a GAME TO PLAY!!